Welcome To My Life
by Sissa
Summary: I'm a loser. And people hate losers. Welcome to my life.
1. Introducing Ashley

_Author's note: Hey, guys. This is my first story, so I don't really know if you will like it. But I hope so._

_Big thanks to my beta-reader Amanda._

_And feedbacks are appreciated. Thank you._

**1. Introducing - Ashley**

"_Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?"_

Ughhh. Stupid radio. I shut my alarm off, annoyed by the voice of the stupid Pussycat Dolls. It was 7 o'clock in the morning, time for me to be getting up. Yeah, I probably should, I thought.

"Ashleeey, get up!" Okay, now I really had to.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," I groaned, as if somebody could hear me.

It took 10 minutes until I finally came into the kitchen, still in my top and PJ pants. What can I say? I was not a morning person. That's the first thing you should know about me.

Secondly, do not talk to me in the morning.

"Ashley, we have to be at school in 20 minutes. I have a test, remember?!" My sister looked at me and I knew she was pissed. I knew this look very well. You know, that kind of look somebody gives you when they're mad.

"I'm sorry Ky, give me 10 mins and I'll be ready." I rushed out of the kitchen to get dressed.

Yeah, that's me. I can be a rebel, but when is Kyla mad at me, I'm like a docile puppy. No kidding.

I got dressed quite fast, which I'm glad about 'cause Kyla would kill me if she wasn't at school early. I'd never understand how she could love high school. Okay, maybe I could. She had her friends, many friends actually and I…well, I had nobody. Alright, I'm lying. I had her and…Aiden.

Now, about Aiden. Well, he'd been my best friend since…forever. We used to date for a while, but then we both realized that we were happier as friends. He told me a big secret about him later. Yeah, he's gay. And I'm gay too, by the way. What a couple, huh? Anyway, maybe we realized it too late, because...

"Where is Amy?" Kyla interrupted my thoughts, as usual.

"She stayed at Aiden's place yesterday. His parents will take care of her during school," I said, searching for the keys to my brand new convertible.

"You really need a babysitter." Oh no, not again, please.

"Kyla, we talked about it. I don't need any babysitter. I have you, Mom, Aiden, and his parents. That's enough, don't you think?"

She shook her dark head. "No, not really. You should hang out and do stuff everyone else does. Have fun, you know."

God, not again. "I do have fun." Damn, where were those stupid keys?!

"Yeah? So tell me about your 'fun.'"

_I found them!_ "Come on Ky, we don't have time."

She looked at her clock and she knew I was right. She glared at me. "We are not done," she replied, and then just walked out of the kitchen.

Well, yes. I had a two-year-old daughter. Actually, I had a daughter with my best friend, who just happened to be gay like me.

My name is Ashley Davies. Welcome to my life.


	2. Introducing Spencer

_Author's note: Thank you very much for feedbacks. Also, thanks to my beta-reader._

_And following chapters will be longer, just give it time, please._

**2. Introducing - Spencer**

"Spencer, get up!" I heard my dad shout out from the kitchen.

God, how I hated mornings. If I could've, I would've slept the whole day.

I got up because I had to, looked in the mirror and groaned. Great, my hair never looked worse. And even better, it was my first day at a new school.

To tell the truth, I hated new schools. I wouldn't know anyone besides my brother. Don't get me wrong, I loved him and all, but you know, he was my brother. And going everywhere with your older brother was anything but cool.

I took a quick shower and looked in the mirror again. Okay, I looked a little better.

"Spenceeer, breakfast is ready," called Dad again.

"I'm coming!"

As I walked into our new kitchen, I noticed Glen, my brother, sitting and eating...my breakfast.

"Gleeeen, that's my breakfast, not yours!"

He just smirked at me, his mouth full. "Sorry sis, I was hungry. Anyway, we have to go."

Great, now I couldn't even eat. Honestly, being the youngest kid sucked. A lot.

After what seemed like forever, we finally drove to our new school. We got lost a couple of times, because Glen obviously didn't know L.A. streets very well.

"Glen, we are late!" I hissed, not wanting anyone to hear me. Not that anybody was around. But Glen didn't look very stressed about the fact we were late on the first day at our new school.

Yeah, I forgot. He _never_ got stressed.

"Calm down, sis, it's gonna be okay. Just be a good girl and follow me."

"Okay," I spat out, just like a good younger sister.

We made our way to the principal's office where we got some papers and our schedules. Just like Glen said, we didn't have any problems with being late, which I found weird. It was probably because Glen was flirting with the principal's secretary the whole time. He could be such an ass, but if it was gonna help us, I was cool with it.

"Okay, sis, I have English now. See ya later," said Glen after we left the office. He walked off.

"Huh? What? Glen!!!" I screamed after him. I was sure he heard me but didn't turn back. _Ass._

Great, now I was all alone in that huge yard. And by _huge_, I mean HUGE. And what made it even worse was the fact that I could get lost _anywhere._

Because of that, I didn't like huge places. At least not when I was all alone.

I looked desperately at my schedule.

_Okay, room 214. I'm gonna find it. I can make it. I'm Spencer Carlin, not some loser._

So why couldn't I move? Why was I still standing in the same place?

"Hey, do you need some help?" I heard a girl's voice right behind me.

When I turned around, I spotted a dark-haired girl looking and smiling at me.

"I….uh.." _Great answer, loser. Just say something!_

Her smile was growing wider. "Yeah?"

"I'm new." _What? I'm new? That's all you can say, just 'I'm new'?!_

The strange dark-haired girl took my schedule from my hands and looked at it for a moment. Then she looked at me again and gave the schedule back.

"Come with me," she said, turning around.

"Okay," I spat out just like a good girl again, following her.

My name is Spencer Carlin. And I'm a loser. Welcome to my life.


	3. Loser

_Author's note: Hey guys. Thanks again for feedbacks. You guys are great.  
_

_As I said before, chapters will be longer. Just give it time. Anyway, enjoy._

**3. Loser**

"I think we should hang out tonight".

It was lunch and I was sitting with Aiden at the table eating my sandwich.

Kyla must have told him something, because he couldn't stop talking about us hanging out.

I glared at him. "I can't. I have a daughter, remember? And besides, it's Monday, we have school tomorrow."

"_We_ have a daughter. And my parents can take of her tonight. It's not a big deal."

"Aiden, I told you. I can't. I have homework. You know, that stuff teachers give you at school." I know, I was mean, but I really wasn't in a good mood.

"I'm not stupid. I know what you mean. But for real, Ash. You haven't been out with friends in, like, forever."

_Friends?_ "Friends"? I raised my eyebrow.

He looked at me as if I was stupid. Which I'm not, by the way.

"I don't have _friends_, Aiden. And you know it." God, boys could be so dumb sometimes.

"What?! Of course you do. You have Kyla and me. And…" He stopped.

"And…?"_There you go._

"And that's enough, don't cha think?"

"I do think. I don't need friends. I have family." _Yeah? If you don't need friends, why are you crying almost every night?_

"See, I told you. Family is the most important. Anyway, you have still our daughter. And me. And Kyla. And your mom. And…"

"Aiden!"

"I know, sorry, I'll be quiet." He wasn't always dumb.

"Umm…Ash?" I glared at him, knowing he wanted something again.

"Yeah?"

"Are you going to eat your sandwich?" he said, looking at my unfinished food. God, he could be such an ass. But a cute ass, anyway.

I gave him the sandwich and watched him with a smirk as he hungrily started eating. That guy was never full. He could eat again and again and again, all the time. But still, he was slim but muscular, with dark hair. I could see why every girl wanted him. _And_every boy, too. I was totally shocked when he told me he was gay. I wasn't expecting it at all. I mean, he was always with some girl…actually, girls. And hello, he dated ME. Yeah, okay, I dated him even though I was gay too. But Aiden was not the kind of boy that you'd expect to be gay. He could be very popular if he wanted to. But that was not Aiden. He was completely satisfied with just a couple of friends.

I don't get it. Everyone knew he was gay and people loved him. So why did they hate _me?_

_Because you are a loser. And people hate losers._


	4. I'm Just Me

**4. I'm just me**

It was lunchtime and I was sitting at the table with Kyla. You know, the dark-haired girl from earlier. She took me to my class and it turned out that we had it together. That was cool, because we spent the whole time with talking and laughing. After class, she decided to show me the school.

So here I am, with my first and only friend.

Wait. _Friend?_

I don't really do friends. And people don't do friends with me. In my old high school people thought I was a loser. And they were right.

The only person who didn't think that was Alex, my only friend. God, I miss him so much. I feel so empty without him. He is the only person I trust to.

I'd known Alex since kindergarten. Kids there hated me, because they thought I was weird. I still don't know why. Alex was the only kid who stood up for me. We became best friends and I loved him with all my heart. I still do, actually.

No, he wasn't my boyfriend. He never had been. We were happy together, but not as lovers. Trust me, we would have killed ourselves if he'd been my boyfriend. I mean, I do love him, but not like _that_. Actually, I'd never loved someone like _that._ Maybe that is the reason why I feel so lonely.

"Spencer? Earth to Spencer."

"Huh? What?" I noticed Kyla looking at me, amused.

"Sorry, I spaced out a little," I said apologetically.

"Yeah, I see," she smiled. She looked cute with a lollipop between her full lips, like a child.

"I'm sorry," I said again.

She sighed. "Spencer, you don't have to apologize all the time."

"Sorry."

"Anyway, what are you doing tonight?" Kyla asked, taking her lollipop out of the mouth.

"Umm…I don't know yet. I have some homework." _Wait. Why she is even asking?_

"Why?"

"Because I was thinking, maybe we could hang out tonight. I could introduce you to my friends. What do you think?" She stared right into my eyes.

I don't like people looking into my eyes. I have no idea why. Alright, to be honest, I do know. I feel vulnerable then. When you look right into someone's eyes, you can read them. And I don't want people to read me. They would find something that they didn't like.

I looked down at my hands. "I…uh…I'm sorry, I can't tonight. I have a lot of homework and my dad wants me home tonight." _Why are you lying to her? She is just trying to be nice._

Still looking at my hands, I heard her voice. "It's okay. Maybe another time?" she asked hopefully.

I finally lifted up my head again and smiled. "Yeah, sure." _Bad, bad liar. _

She looked at her watch and sighed. "I have to go. My friends are waiting for me. See you tomorrow?"

My smile faded off. "Umm…yeah, see ya then."

She stood up and stared at me for a sec. She was thinking about something. _Wait, is she gonna hug me?_

But no, she must have changed her mind, because she just said goodbye, waved, and walked off.

_Great, now I'm all alone again. _

I so don't like being alone around strange people. They scare me. I looked around to see what kind of people were going to my new high school. I'd seen cheerleaders and basketball players with them at the table. Nothing new, cheerleaders were always with athletes.

I turned my head around and saw another table. Nerds. And as I saw more and more tables, I found out that this school was the same as every other high school. They labeled people.

I hate labeling people. Kids at my old high school always called me _freak _or _nerd._ But I wasn't a freak or a nerd.

I was just me. So why they didn't just let me be?


	5. Tonight

_Author's note: Hey, guys. Thanks for all feedbacks. _

**5. Tonight**

"Hey, kids." I noticed Kyla walking to us with big smile on her face.

"Hey Ky. Where have you been?" Aiden asked with his mouth still full as she sat down next to him.

"With a new friend," she replied, knowing we'd want to know more.

Aiden raised an eyebrow. "New friend?"

"Yep, I made a new friend. Her name is Spencer. She is very shy and all, but very cute at the same time. I wanted her to meet you tonight, but she can't," she sighed.

"What?" I asked, because I knew something wasn't right.

"I don't know. When I asked her, I had a feeling she was hiding something. Maybe I'm wrong, I really don't know."

"Oooohh, a mystery. I love mysteries," said Aiden _loudly_, and some people turned around to stare.

Kyla nodded. "Yeah, I think she kinda is. At least she acts like that."

"Anyway," she turned to speak to me, "has Aiden told you about tonight?"

I glared at him. He wasn't looking at me, of course.

"What is tonight?" I asked, turning my head back to my sister.

She groaned and knocked Aiden on the head.

"Ouch, that hurt," he whimpered as he rubbed his forehead.

"You deserved it," Kyla told him without any sympathy. "You should have told her."

_Told me what?_

"Told me what, Kyla?"

She looked right into my eyes and stayed quiet.

"Kyla?" I raised my voice. I hated when she acted like that, because when she did, something bad happened. _Always._

"Wearegoingoutandyouhaveababysitterfortonight". Both of us were surprised when Aiden spat out words in some foreign language.

"English, please?"

"We…" he started, but Kyla didn't let him finish.

"We are going out and you have a babysitter for Amy tonight." _What?_

"A babysitter? No, no way. We already talked about it, Kyla. I don't let some strange woman take care of my daughter. No way. Just forget it." I crossed my arms, just to let them know that I wasn't going to give in.

"By the way, Aiden, you told me your parents can take of her tonight." I gazed at him.

"Well, yeah, that's the thing. Umm…actually, they can't. Mom and Dad are going to some party or something. I thought you wouldn't agree to go out if I told you the truth, so…"

_And I thought he was my friend. _"Aiden, you're a jerk. A big gay jerk."

I would've said more if Kyla hadn't interrupted me as usual.

"Look, Ashley. I know you don't want to, but you have to go out sometimes. We both think today is a good day. And fuck school, you don't have to go there _every _day. And about that babysitter? It won't be some strange woman, don't worry."

"No?" Aiden and I asked at the same time.

She shook her head. "No. Actually, I met a boy today and he told me his sister loves kids and she would love to take care of some."

"You met a boy?" We asked together again.

"Well, yeah. He's new too. We flirted a little during our class and then we somehow got to talking about tonight and he's going to come with us. Isn't it great?"

God, I hated when she got those little sparks in her eyes.

"Yeah, _great._"

At least Aiden seemed to be happy about it. But it was only because every time any of us said something about a new boy, he got all excited.

"Aiden, that guy flirted with Kyla. Which means what?" I asked, knowing exactly what was he thinking about.

"I know, but you never know." He smirked at me.

I sighed. _Well, tonight should be fun. At least I hope so._


	6. Siblings

_Author's note: Thanks again for feedbacks. You guys are amazing._

_Just to let you know, in this story is no Clay. Hope you don't mind._

_Anyway, enjoy._

**6. Siblings**

"I said no, Glen! Forget it."

"Oh, come on. Do it for your favorite brother."

_God, I really hate him sometimes._ "You're my only brother," I glared at him again, something I was doing the whole ride home.

"I would be your favorite even if I wasn't the only one. And I thought you love kids."

I sighed. "I do love them. But I don't want to take care of a strange child. That's just not for me and you know it's true."

He looked at me. "I know, but you can't stay at home your whole life."

"Glen, watch the road," I told him. I still didn't understand how someone could give him a driver's license.

"And besides, you think if I take care of your girlfriend's kid, it will help me in my life?" I asked, irritated.

"First, she's not my girlfriend. At least not yet." He smirked at me and continued, "Second, the kid isn't hers, but her sister's. Third, I beg you. Please, Spence, do it for me. I'll do anything."

I sighed heavily.

"Does that mean yes?"

I crossed my arms, sighed again and slumped down in my seat. "Yeah, I'll do it."

"Yay! Thanks, sis." He leaned in and kissed me on the forehead before returning to driving.

We stayed quiet for the rest of the ride home. He was probably thinking about tonight with his new object and I… Well, I was thinking about how fucked up I am.

When we finally got home, I was just trying to get straight into my room.

"Hey, kids. How was the first day of school?" I saw Dad come out of the kitchen with an apron around his waist. He was probably cooking dinner.

"Cool. I already made new friends," replied Glen as he threw his bag on the floor.

Dad smiled. "I'm glad. What about you Spencer? Did you make new friends?"

"Yeah, I did," I said, not wanting tell him more. And, because he knows me, he didn't ask more.

"Alright. Dinner should be in an hour."

"Okay," we both replied and headed to our rooms.

"Dad?" Glen stopped.

"Yeah?"

"Will Mom come to dinner?" he asked.

"I don't really know, Glen. She should, though."

"Okay," replied Glen as he followed me upstairs.

My mom. That was another story. We moved here just because of her and her new job. She worked as a doctor in some big hospital here in L.A. But ever since the move, she was never home. Sometimes I forgot I had a mom. It's like I had just Dad and Glen. I was trying to tell myself I didn't need her, but that was a lie and I knew it. I did need her and I missed her. I missed our talks when I was just a little blond girl with big blue eyes and she was my only friend. Except Alex, of course. We used to talk about everything and nothing. Then I grew up and everything changed. Sometimes I wondered if she missed me like I missed her. I didn't think so, though. She had her new job. That's all that mattered for her.

I walked in my room and closed the door behind me.

My room. The only place I feel safe. I love my new room and it was pretty much the only good thing here. I didn't miss my old room back in Ohio. I love this one.

I threw my bag on the floor and flopped down on my big bed. I was about turn on my iPod when Glen ran into the room without knocking, of course.

_I think I should lock the door._

"Glen!" I screamed.

"Sorry, sis, but I need advice," he said, walking around my room.

I sat up on the bed. _Advice? From me?_

"I don't know what to wear!" He sighed and sat next to me.

_What?_

"What?" I asked, not knowing what he was talking about.

He looked at me as if I was stupid. "I don't know what to wear tonight. You know, for my date."

_Date? I thought it was just hanging out._

"And you came here, because…?" I still didn't know what exactly he wanted from me.

"You are a girl, right? You have to help me. Now," he replied, grasping my wrist and pulling me to my feet.

_Me?_

"Glen, wait. I don't think it's a good idea. I don't even know how to dress myself up," I tried to tell him. He didn't seem to be listening as we walked into his room, though.

After couple of minutes, we finally found a perfect outfit for him. After all, it wasn't that hard.

"How do I look?" He was standing in front of the mirror, checking his outfit.

"Good," I smiled at him, sitting on his bed. _He is such a girl sometimes._

He took one last glance in the mirror and turned back to me.

"Thank you, Spence. You're my favorite sister, you know it, right?"

I smirked. "I'm your only sister, jerk."

I really love my brother. I couldn't say he is the best brother in the world, but he is the best for me. Even though I am almost 17 and he is 18, we are still pretty close.

When I was younger, I used to wish for a sister. But later I realized that my brother is enough.

He glanced at his watch. "We should go." _Wait, we?_

"We?"

"Spencer, you forgot?!" He shook his head in disbelief.

_Fuck, yeah, I forgot._

I got up of the bed and replied, "Yeah, I did. Sorry, I'm just gonna change. I'll be right back."

It didn't take me long, because I just put on another shirt. I looked in the mirror and sighed. At least it wasn't _that_ bad. Actually, it wasn't bad at all. My blonde hair was lazily falling below my shoulders and, thanks to my baby blue shirt, my eyes were even bluer than before.

_Hope I won't scare that kiddo. Wait, I don't even know if it's a girl or boy. Ugh._

"Spencer, are you coming?" called Glen from downstairs.

I glanced one more time in the mirror before I walked out of my room and headed downstairs. I heard Glen and Dad talking about tonight.

"Glen, you are supposed to be home at dinner and you know it." Yeah, my dad hated when any of us weren't at dinner. And now, none of us would be. I was sure he wouldn't be happy.

"I know, Dad, and I'm sorry. Just tonight, please," he begged.

"You have school tomorrow."

"I know. We will be home soon, I promise. Dad…?" Oh no, he used his childish tone. This worked _every time._

I heard Dad sigh. "Okay. But just tonight." He gave in. _Again._

"Thank you, Dad. Spencer!"

"I'm coming."

_Tonight should be interesting. At least I hope so._


	7. Love

_Author's note: Awww, thank you for feedbacks again. I love you all, for real._

_Here is next chapter, enjoy :)_

**7. Love**

"When exactly will that girl be here?" I asked Kyla, standing in the living room with Amy in my arms.

"In 15 minutes. Don't worry, it's gonna be okay," she tried to calm me down.

I looked skeptically at her. I so didn't think it would be okay. I couldn't help it, I just didn't trust strange people.

"Mommy goes out?" asked Amy. I kissed her on the forehead and replied, "Yeah, baby girl, Mommy's going out tonight. You'll stay home with a very nice girl, okay?"

She nodded. I didn't get it. She'd never before stayed home alone with a stranger and she was totally okay with it. _If she is okay with it, why am I not?_

"See, I told you. Amy is a big girl, right sweetie?" asked Kyla as she came to me and took her off my hands. She tickled her, making Amy giggle.

Then she nodded seriously. "I'm a big girl."

The bell started ringing. _What? It's not 7 yet. _

Kyla, still with Amy in her arms, went to open the door. I stayed in the living room, trying to mentally prepare myself to meet the babysitter.

"Daddyyyy," I heard Amy shriek.

_Thank God._

"Hey, Ash." I saw Aiden, Amy in his arms, walking into the living room.

"Hey."

"Where is Kyla?" I asked, not seeing her around

"That guy came with his sister. She went to greet them," he replied and sat down on the couch, Amy on his knees.

I looked nervously at him. "Oh. And umm…have you seen them?"

He smirked, tickling our daughter. "Yeah, they seem to be pretty nice. _Both _of them. I'm sure you will like them."

_I can't wait._

"Ashley, I want you to meet someone." I heard Kyla's voice behind me.

When I turned around, everything around me stopped. In front of me stood the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen in my entire life. Some of her long blond hair was falling in front of the most beautiful blue eyes I've ever seen.

_I know I'm repeating myself._

I just couldn't stop staring at her. I wanted to tuck her hair behind her ear and… Kyla interrupted my thoughts as she spoke.

"Aiden already met them."

I saw him nod and Kyla pointed at me.

"Ashley, this is Glen." A blond boy about my age smiled at me and offered me his hand, which I accepted.

"Nice to meet you," he said, still smiling.

I returned the smile. "You too."

"And this," Kyla pointed at the girl, "is Spencer."

_Wait. Spencer? I'm sure I've heard that name already._

Spencer stood closer to me and offered me her hand shyly, obviously finding something very interesting on the floor, because she wasn't looking me in the eye.

"Nice to meet you," she said and as I heard her voice for the first time, the world around me stopped again. She had the most beautiful voice I'd ever heard, too.

_And I do know I'm repeating myself again._

I stood there just staring at her for a moment. Then I heard Aiden clear his throat. I finally accepted her hand and then it happened. Electricity course through my body, something that never happened before. Until now.

She took her hand back quickly and I looked at her. She felt it too. I was sure she felt it too. Because for the first time, she looked right into my eyes and scanned me with her stare.

"Nice to meet you too," I replied slowly.

She smiled. God, she had a beautiful smile.

"Spencer is the girl I was talking about earlier," Kyla added, interrupting our stares. _I knew I've heard that name before._

"So this was the reason why you couldn't hang out with us tonight?" I asked, raising my eyebrow.

She blushed and nodded. _Aww, she is blushing. God, that's so cute._

"Mommy?" I turned around and saw Amy, still sitting on Aiden's knees, shyly looking at us with her big blue eyes. _Yes, I said blue, even though both Aiden and I have brown ones._

Aiden stood up, Amy next to him, holding his hand with her, eyes fixed on Spencer.

I kneeled down. "Come here, baby."

She removed her hand from Aiden's and slowly walked up to me, her eyes still on Spencer. Spencer smiled down at her and kneeled down too, so now she was as tall as Amy was. Well, almost.

"Hey, honey. I'm Spencer. What's your name?" Spencer asked with a warm smile on her face.

Amy looked at me with questioning eyes and I nodded. Then she looked back at Spencer and replied, "Amy."

"Nice to meet you, Amy. How old are you?"

Amy seemed to be thinking hard before she held up two fingers.

"Two? Wow, you're already a big girl. I'm sure we will have fun. What do you think?" Spencer's smile grew wider.

_Where is that shy girl I just met?_

All of the sudden, Amy got all excited and quickly nodded her head. I knew my daughter and I was sure she already loved Spencer.

Then I heard Kyla clear her throat. "I think we should go."

Aiden nodded. "Yeah, we probably should." _No, I want to stay here._

Spencer and I stood up and I told her some stuff about how she should take care of Amy. You know, those things like when she should go to sleep and stuff.

Before we said our goodbyes, I hugged Amy for the last time and kissed her on the forehead. She didn't seem to be very sad about me leaving her with a strange girl for the first time in her life, but it was probably because she couldn't wait for her alone time with Spencer.

Finally, we said goodbye to them and went to Gray.

Gray was a club in L.A. where _every _student from King High went. Maybe that's why I hated that place, even though I used to go there almost every night. But that was before Amy. And I've changed since then.

When I found out I was pregnant with Aiden, I was shocked. You know, it's not every day that you get pregnant at 15 with your ex-boyfriend. With your _gay_ ex-boyfriend. I was so scared to tell him, to tell anyone. However when I finally let him know, he was all supportive. He didn't act like every other guy would have. Yeah, he was shocked more than I was, but it didn't matter. He was my best friend and that child was his child. _Our _child.

We told our parents and friends later. Our parents reacted well, and we were very surprised. My mom looked forward to it, because she was never very close with Kyla and me. Our father died 2 years before Amy's birth in a car accident. I still missed him.

Anyway, as I said our parents took it well, which I couldn't said about my 'friends'. They judged me since I told them and they judge me even now. I lost all my friends, except Kyla and Aiden. I always act like I'm cool with it, but honestly, I'm not. I feel lonely.

And I miss love. Not my family's or friend's love. Not even my daughter's love.

I miss that kind of love where you feel like nobody except the two of you exists. I miss that kind of love when you want to be with that person forever.

I miss real love.


	8. Gentle, Gentle

_Author's note: Hey guys. Here is another chapter. Hope you enjoy. _

_Thanks for all feedbacks again. I love you all._

**8. Gentle, Gentle**

"So Amy, what do you want to do now?"

Ashley and the others had already left, so I decided to play with her. To kill the time, you know. However, I fell in love with her the moment I saw her shyly standing next to Aiden. _That was his name, I guess._

When I saw her curious big blue eyes on her beautiful childish face, I was sure I would love her. After all, who wouldn't love her?

Her blue eyes lighted up as she replied, "Cooking!"

_Okay, did I say I don't know how to cook yet? Well, I don't._

I scratched my head. "Are you sure?"

She quickly nodded. _That probably means 'yes'_I smiled at her, not wanting to let her know that I had no idea how to cook.

"Okay, then we're gonna cook. Can you show me the kitchen?"

She took my hand and I followed her to the kitchen.

_Niceeee_, I thought when I saw it. That kitchen was for sure the most beautiful I've ever seen.

I sat Amy down on the chair and looked in the fridge. It was full, but I still had no idea what exactly should I do with it. Now I was angry at my dad that he'd never taught me how to cook. Okay, I admit, he wanted to, but I wasn't interested. Blame me.

Cooking is boring. Very boring. And I still don't understand how he can love it. But that's my dad. He loves everything I don't.

_Pancakes! I can make pancakes!_

I turned around to see Amy curiously watching me. "Wanna make pancakes?" I asked, praying for her to say yes.

She shrieked, "Yessss!" _Thank God._

"Okay, let's cook," I said enthusiastically as I took out the necessary things.

An hour later and I watch the kitchen in disbelief. _This would only happen to me. Am I a bad person or something? Why does God hate me?_

I mean, cooking was great, we had a lot of fun and most importantly, I didn't burn anything. But when I looked at the mess afterward, the fun was over. At least Amy didn't seem to be upset. She was eating her pancakes and looked pretty happy.

_But I have to clean this up!_

Another 30 minutes passed before I finally finished tidying. I was tired like never before. I swore I wouldn't cook again. _Ever!_

Yeah, I admit, I wasn't the only one who was cleaning. Amy wanted to help me. At first I didn't want to let her, but she begged and gave me puppy eyes. _And _I just can't refuse her. Not with those big blue eyes.

When I finally let her, she got all excited and launched into work. She didn't help me much, though. But still, it was cute that she at least tried. Right?

"Okay, honey, we are done," I said when everything was clean again.

"Mkay. Are we gonna play now?" _What? Is this girl ever tired?_

I glanced at my clock. 9 o'clock. She should go sleep. That's what Ashley told me.

"No, honey, you have to go sleep now."

She pouted her face and her eyes started watering. _No, don't cry!_

"I don't wanna."

I kneeled down. "But you have to. Otherwise Mommy will be mad and you don't want your mommy to be angry, right?"

She quickly shook her head.

"I knew you were a good girl. We are gonna take a bath and then go sleep, okay?" I asked, hoping she wouldn't be against it.

"Okay."

I gave her a bath and then she took me to her bedroom, to her own bedroom. I though she would have a bedroom with her mother together, but it seemed like she had her own. I put her up to bed and sat down to her.

"Sing to me?" she asked.

_Sing? I can't sing._

"I…ca…," I started, but then spotted her pleading eyes. I couldn't resist her. _Again._

I sighed. "Okay."

When I said that, she gave me one of her biggest smiles I'd seen. That made me smile too, and I spoke again, "What exactly should I sing?"

"Anything," she replied, and made me a free place next to her, letting me know that I should lie there.

I did what she wanted and started thinking about what song to sing. Suddenly, it hit me!

"Okay, this is a song my mom used to sing to me when I was younger," I said and started singing.

_Gentle, gentle sing to your child  
Your companion for such a long long time  
Beneath your heart  
Her heart beats strong  
Life of your life  
Is safe in your arms_

She laid her head down on my chest and I pulled her closer to let her know that she was safe with me.__

Touch her face  
You gave her form  
Child of this earth  
Child of the sky  
You are her voice  
She has your eyes  
This is her gift  
The thread of life  


I glanced at her and saw that she was trying hard to keep her eyes open.

_  
Give her grace  
Give her peace  
Let her be strong  
Let her be kind  
She is your soul  
And you are her strength  
Bless her and guide her all of her life_

Suddenly I felt a light kiss on my cheek. I looked down, surprised, and saw her lying on my chest again with smile on her face.__

Gentle, gentle sing to your child  
Your companion for such a long long time  
Beneath your heart

_Her heart beats strong  
Life of your life  
Is safe in your arms_

When I finished singing, I looked at her again and she was already asleep.

Not too long after, I drifted off to sleep too, with Amy in my arms.


	9. Long Night

_Author's note: Thanks again for feedbacks. Love ya all._

_And for those who miss Clay. I'm really sorry he is not in this fic, but trust me, Glen is enough. At least in this fic._

**9. Long Night**

"Sooo, Ashley, do you go to King High too?"

I was sitting at the table with Glen while Kyla and Aiden were dancing. I wasn't in the mood to dance because all I could think about was Spencer, a girl I met just a couple of hours ago.

_You are falling hard, Ashley. And that's not good. Not at all._

"Yeah."

"That's cool. By the way, your daughter is really cute," Glen said, making me smile.

"Thanks. Your sister seems to be nice too," I said hoping he'd tell me more about her.

"Yeah, she is nice. Altough not many people know that," he added.

_Okay, now I'm curious._

"Why's that?"

He played with his drink as he replied, "I don't really know. She doesn't have very many friends, you know." He looked at me.

"Yeah, I know, believe me."

I spotted Kyla with Aiden heading over to us. Their faces were flushed, signs of their wild dancing.

"God, I'm so tired," proclaimed Kyla as she sat down on the chair.

"Yeah, me too," added Aiden, and gulped down his drink.

"Maybe we should go," I said, and hoped they would be tired enough to head back home.

They didn't look like that, though.

"I think we should go, too," Glen spoke up. "I promised Dad I'd be home early since we have school tomorrow."

Kyla and Aiden seemed to give up. "Yeah, okay. But I have to go to the bathroom first," said Kyla, and walked off.

"Actually, me too," said Aiden. Glen followed him.

_What? They all have to go to the bathroom together? _

So now, here I am, sitting all alone at the table. And when I'm sitting alone anywhere, it's not good. Not at all.

I looked around and suddenly, my eyes met with another pair of brown ones. They were the eyes of my biggest enemy. _Madison._

She recognized me immediately and when she saw that I was alone, she headed over to me.

_Fuck._

"What are you doing here, freak?" she asked with a disgusted stare as she stood in front of me.

"Fuck off, Madison."

She wanted to say something again, but my sister interrupted her as she came back. _Thank God._

"Yeah, fuck off, Madison," she glared at her, "now!"

She gave me one last disgusted look, said, "Whatever," and walked off to join her group.

I don't know why, but the only person Madison is afraid of is my sister. Weird, huh? I'm sure she knows something about her that I don't, but Kyla doesn't want me to know.

"Thanks, sis," I said to my sister gratefully.

She swept her hand. "It's okay. Where are the guys?"

"Bathroom." I rolled my eyes.

"Great," she said enthusiastically and slumped down in her chair. "So, what do you think about Glen?"

_God, no._

"I think he is nice." Well, at least I didn't lie. I really did think he was nice.

She sighed. "Just nice?"

Thank God I didn't have to say anything else, because the boys finally showed up and we headed back home. Aiden and I took in my car and Kyla went with Glen.

"Are you staying the night?" I asked.

"I think so," Aiden replied, looking out of the window.

That was not a big deal, because, to tell the truth, Aiden stayed the night often. He had even his own bedroom.

"What do you think about Glen?" I asked again.

"He looks pretty nice, but he is not my type," he smirked.

I laughed. "That's good, because I think he is Kyla's type," I replied, and for the rest of the ride we stayed in comfortable silence.

xxxxxxxxxxx

When we finally got home and stepped into hallway, the whole house was completely silent. Aiden went and checked the living room but came back because nobody was there.

_Where are they?_

"I'm gonna check Amy's room," I said, leaving the others in the hallway.

I went upstairs and slowly opened the door. What I saw left me completely speechless.

Spencer was lying on Amy's bed, her hand tightly holding Amy's little torso, while Amy was curled up as close to Spencer as she could get. Both were peacefully asleep. God, they looked so cute together.

I didn't want to ruin their moment, but I knew I had to, because Glen was already waiting for Spencer. Therefore, I approached them, kneeled down, and whispered Spencer's name. She muttered something in her sleep and stirred a little. She didn't seem to wake up, though.

I brushed away a few of the golden hair that had fallen in her closed eyes and tried again. "Spencer."

She stirred again, but this time she also slowly opened her blue eyes and blinked.

I smiled at her. "Spencer, your brother is waiting for you," I whispered, not wanting to wake up my daughter.

She quickly blinked again, as if she's just realized where she was. Then she looked at her side, finding Amy still sleeping in her arms. She looked back at me and replied, "Okay." She slowly removed her hand from Amy and got off the bed. I stood up too.

She still didn't look very awake, though.

I left Amy's bedroom with a sleepy Spencer behind my back.

"Finally, why did it take you so long?" Glen impatiently tapped his foot in the living room.

"Sorry, Glen, I fell asleep," replied Spencer with an apologetic expression.

"It's okay. But we have to go, otherwise dad will be angry."

They said goodbye and got ready to leave.

"Wait!" I stopped them.

They both turned around and looked at me with questioning faces. I pulled out my purse and took out some money. I wanted to give it to Spencer, but she stopped me. "No, it's okay."

"What? No, it's not. You deserve it," I said, trying to convince her.

She looked me straight in the eye. "I said no. It's okay."

We just stood there for what seems like forever and stared each other in the eyes. Neither of us wanted to give in.

I saw that I had no chance, so I finally gave in. "Okay," I groaned.

She just smiled at me. "Thanks."

Glen cleared his throat. "Spence, we have to go."

She gave me one last smile, said goodbye to Kyla and Aiden, who were strangely looking at us, and left with Glen following her.

I slumped down on the couch and sighed. Kyla and Aiden did the same and Kyla laid her head on my shoulder. "I'm dead."

"Me too," announced Aiden as he placed his feet on the table.

"We should go to sleep. We have school tomorrow," I told them, playing with Kyla's hair.

She growled. "You think that I'll go to school? No way. Besides, somebody has to stay home with Amy."

_Right._

"Okay, you're right. But I have to. And Aiden too. Right, Aiden?" I glanced at him.

"Mhmm," was all I got from him.

He was almost asleep, so we decided to go to our rooms and left him sleeping on the couch.

I was really tired and all I wanted was to go sleep and not have to go to school tomorrow. But on the other hand, I wanted to go. And I knew why.

The only reason was a blond girl I met a couple of hours ago.


	10. Taking Chances

**10. Taking Chances**

Another day in the "paradise" called King High.

It was lunchtime and I hadn't seen Kyla anywhere. I guess she stayed home today.

_Great._

If she stayed home, it means that I'm all alone again. _Whatever, _I thought, turned on my iPod and laid down on the table.

It's not that I can't be alone; actually, I feel fine when I'm alone. Really. I just don't feel fine when I'm alone around strange people.

I was listening to my favorite song by Three Days Grace, called Time of Dying, and my thoughts returned to the night before.

I was completely shocked when Kyla opened the door. I was expecting anything but that, and she seemed to be shocked as much as I was. Luckily, my mind worked pretty quickly, so I told her that babysitting was the reason why I couldn't go out with her. I just hoped she would believe me.

When I entered the living room and saw Ashley, I was speechless. Honestly, I'd never seen a more beautiful girl. It seemed a movie in slow motion when Kyla introduced us. I couldn't even look her in the eyes. When our hands finally touched, I felt something really weird. It felt like some kind of electricity.

Maybe I'm just overreacting. And maybe not.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

All the sudden, I felt someone standing over me. I opened my eyes and blinked a few times, because the sun shone right in my eyes. When I finally spotted the person, I saw a Latina girl glaring at me.

I sat up and removed my headphones. "Can I help you?" _Good, Carlin, just play cool._

"Who are you?" She asked, still glaring at me.

_Huh?_

"And who exactly are _you?"_ I spat out back.

"Look, kiddo." _Kiddo?! _"You obviously have no idea who I am, so I forgive you." _What? Seriously, this girl is weird._

She continued, "I'm Madison. And I _own_ this school." _Haha._

"Oh, really?" The sarcasm was evident in my voice.

She didn't seem to notice, though, because she continued, "Yeah, and because of that, I want to know who you are."

_Should I tell her?_

"Leave that poor girl alone, Madison." _Well, it looks like I don't have to._

A dark girl around my age appeared behind her.

Madison turned around and glared at the new girl. "Why exactly should I?"

The dark girl returned the glare. "Because I said so. And," she continued, "because this girl is a friend of Kyla's and I'm sure Kyla wouldn't be happy if she knew you were bothering her friend."

The Latina girl gave up. "Whatever," she replied, and I watched her as she left, surprised.

_What? She's afraid of Kyla?_

The dark girl turned to me and offered me her hand with smile. "Hey. I'm Chelsea."

I returned the smile and accepted her hand. "Spencer."

She sat next to me. "I know. Kyla told me about you." _Really?_

"Oh, she did?"

"Yep. She told me to keep an eye on you."

I glanced at her, surprised. "Why?"

She just shrugged. "I don't know. She seems to care about you."

_Oh._

I didn't exactly know what to say, so I just gave her one of the headphones and we lay down on the table, listening to my iPod.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

An hour later and I'm sitting in the class, alone again, because Chelsea had another. At least after this class was school over. With my headphones still in my ears, I was waiting with the others for the teacher.

When I thought that he'd finally showed up, I lifted my head to see one hot girl instead. _Ashley._

I so didn't know she went to King High too. _Why hadn't anyone told me?_

As I stared at her, her eyes met mine. We just stared at each other for a few seconds, and then she decided to break the contact and move. The seat next to me was empty and she noticed it.

"Hey," she said softly, smiling as she sat down in the seat.

"Hey," I replied shyly. _God, why do I feel like a fool when she is around me?_

Our conversation was cut short, because just then the teacher entered the room.

During the class, I wasn't listening at all. All my thoughts belonged to a certain brunette sitting right next to me.

All the sudden, a piece of paper landed on my desk. I glanced around and noticed Ashley smiling at me. As I opened it, her gaze returned to the teacher.

_Thanks for yesterday._

I grabbed a pen and wrote back.

_It's okay. __Amy is adorable. _

I glanced at the teacher and when he wasn't looking, I threw it back to her. After couple of seconds, another piece of paper landed on my desk.

_Thank you. I've been thinking, wanna hang out after school?_

I started thinking immediately. _Should I? Or is it not a good idea?_

I made a decision and wrote back. _Sure. _

I saw her smile when I threw it back. _I made a good decision, right?_

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Where are we gonna go?"

We were sitting in Ashley's convertible and I was so nervous that I couldn't even speak. This was my first sentence in 15 minutes.

_Why am I so nervous? It's just a girl. _

"I'm gonna show you my favorite coffee bar." She, unlike me, didn't look nervous at all. At least someone wasn't.

For the rest of the ride we stayed quiet, neither of us knowing what to say.

After another 15 minutes, we finally arrived at the café and Ashley found a good place where nobody could disturb us. The waiter came immediately and after he left with our orders, we were left alone again.

"I know I already told you, but thanks again for yesterday," she said, breaking the silence.

"And like I already said, it's okay. If you need help again, just tell me," I tried to convince her.

She gave me a warm smile. "Thank you. You know, when I saw you yesterday with Amy, you both looked adorable together."

I blushed and looked at my hands. "Umm…thanks."

_Is this girl trying to kill me?_

Luckily, the waiter brought us our coffee.

"Can I ask you something?" _Maybe I'm a jerk, but I couldn't help it._

"Yeah, anything," she replied, and looked at me.

"Why are you so nice to me?" _I know, I'm a jerk._

"What?" she asked. She obviously didn't get it.

"I mean, don't get me wrong, but I'm not used to people being so nice to me. First your sister, then Chelsea, and now you. And I've only been here two days."

"You already met Chelsea?" She drank of her coffee.

I nodded. "Yeah, she saved me from some Latina girl."

Her look hardened. "Madison."

"Yes, that was her name. You know her?"

She sighed. "Yeah." _Yeah? That's it?_

"You two aren't friends, right?"

She smiled, amused. "Actually, we hate each other."

"Oh."

"Anyway," she said, changing the subject, "tell me something about yourself."

_I knew this would come._

"Like what?" I replied, playing with my coffee.

She smiled again. "Anything."

"You know, there isn't much to say. I grew up in small town in Ohio and we moved here a week ago because of my mom's new job."

She seemed to be interested, but I really didn't know what else I could say.

"Did you…uh…did…" _Is she stuttering?_

"Yeah?" I raised my eyebrow.

"Did you…leave someone back in Ohio?" she finally asked, and blushed. _Why is she blushing?_

My mind returned to Alex and I saddened. "Yeah, actually, I did."

Disappointment flashed across her face. _Why is she disappointed? Or am I overreacting again?_

"Oh," was all she said.

_Wait._

"Oh, but I don't mean someone like _someone. _Yes, I did leave someone back there, but he is my best friend. Not my boyfriend." I really don't know why, but I had the feeling that I have to explain it.

Her face brightened and she smiled. "I get it."

"What about you? Are you with Amy's father?" _What? I can be curious too._

She started laughing. _Why is she laughing? _I stared at her, not sure what to think.

After what seemed like forever, she finally stopped laughing. "Sorry. I just…sorry. No, I'm not with Amy's father. Actually, do you remember Aiden?"

_Yeah?_

"He is Amy's dad." _Oh._

"Oh, okay. So you guys aren't together?" I asked again. I felt like an idiot, seriously.

"No, not anymore. Actually, we broke up before I found out I was pregnant."

_Uh huh…_

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The rest of the day with Ashley was anything but boring. We had a lot of fun and she showed me places I had no idea existed.

When she pulled in our driveway and switched off the engine, she turned to me and smiled. "I had fun today."

I blushed and returned the smile. "Me too."

"So I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" She asked hopefully.

"Yeah, tomorrow."

She looked at me with a long, deep stare. I didn't exactly know what she was going to do, but then she leaned in and pulled me into hug. I froze for a while, then finally relaxed and leaned into her arms. It felt nice.

We pulled apart and I left the car with a big smile on my face.

I didn't know what exactly this girl was doing to me, but I knew it had to stop before it would be too late.

_But what if I don't want this to stop? Whatever it is. _


	11. If You Believe

_Author's note: Hey, guys. I just wanted to say that I love your feedbacks. They make me happy, for real. _

_Soo, enjoy :)_

**11. If You Believe**

"_I want to tell you something." She looked straight into my eyes._

_We were sitting in my room, talking, when she suddenly changed the subject._

"_What?" I asked curiously. _

"_But…I can't. I'm too scared."_

_I took her hands into mine. "Of what? You can tell me anything."_

"_I…I think I love you, Ashley." She tilted down her blond head._

"_Spencer…" I said. "Spencer, look at me." She lifted her head up again._

"_I love you too."_

_Her lips were suddenly so close to me that, if I wanted, I could've touched them right then. _

---

"_Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?"_

And suddenly I woke up, thanks to the stupid radio again. _What? Was it just a dream?_

I looked around me and found only an empty room. _Yeah, just a dream._

I groaned in frustration and buried my head under the pillow, wanting to dream again.

"Mommyyyyy!"_Or not._

Amy rushed into my bedroom, climbed into bed, and tried to wake me up.

"Mommy has to wake up," she was saying over and over, shaking me.

I groaned again, my head still under the pillow. "Mommy doesn't want to."

Then Kyla showed up in the doorway. At least I think so, because I heard just her voice. "Ashley, come on. Wake up."

When I heard her stern voice, I was finally able to remove my head from the pillow. As I did that, my eyes were met with amused ones belonged to my daughter.

"Mommy is up?" she asked, all excited.

"Yeah, baby, Mommy is up," I glanced at Kyla still standing in the doorway. "I'm going, Ky." She nodded and left.

My gaze returned to Amy again, who was sitting on my bed in her little PJs, holding her favorite teddy.

"Fluffy is hungry," she pronounced. _Oh, yeah I forgot. The teddy has a name._

"Aww, really? So I guess we should feed him, right?"

She quickly nodded.

"But beforeee…" I gave her my evil smile and she already knew what I was going to do. She tried to escape, but I was faster.

"Noo…Mommyyyy," she shrieked as I tickled her.

It was something like our morning ritual. We always tickled each other, every morning, when she was at my place.

---------

"God, I so don't want to go," groaned Kyla as we got out of the car.

We took Amy to Aiden's parents before school. They always looked after her while we were at school. Both Aiden and I were very grateful for it.

I smirked. "Ooh, come on, Ky. We both know you want to."

She glared at me. "No, actually, I don't. I have another test today."

_Okay, now I got it._

"Ashley, Kyla!" We turned around and saw Aiden rushing over to us.

"Hey, Aid," we both greeted him and continued to walk with him.

"Guys, have you seen that new boy yet?" he asked after a while, excited.

I rolled my eyes. "No, Aiden, we haven't." Honestly, I wasn't interested at all.

Unlike Kyla, who is just like Aiden. They got to talking about some new "hot" boy while I searched for a certain blonde.

Then I finally spotted her. She was talking with her brother and God, she looked gorgeous.

"Guys, there are Glen and Spencer," I said, interrupting their conversation.

Spencer and Glen seemed to be very concerned about their talk and I really didn't want to bother them, but I had to talk to her. I just had to. They finally noticed us and turned to us.

"Hey guys," said Glen. Spencer just shyly smiled.

"Hey, man. Have you seen that new boy yet?" Aiden hugged him around the shoulders and walked off with him, Kyla joining them.

_Oh, didn't I say it yet? Glen knows Aiden is gay and he is totally okay with it. He doesn't know about me, though._

It seemed like I was left alone with Spencer. _Not that I have anything against it._

"Hey," I said with a smile.

"Hey." She gave me on of her shy smiles.

"Umm…what do you have now?" I asked, not wanting to stand in silence with her.

"Math," she replied and rolled her eyes.

"Great, me too."

------------

As the days go by, I was falling for her more and more. She was everything I wanted. Everything I'm not. Smart, funny, shy, beautiful… She was perfect. When we talked during our class or lunch, all I wanted was to kiss her. Nothing more, nothing less. Just one kiss.

I knew I can't, though. She would freak out, for sure. I mean, I don't even know if she's gay. And even if she was… why should she like _me?_I'm anything but perfect. A gay girl with a daughter with her gay ex-boyfriend. Pleeease. There's no chance she would want me.

"Ashley? Ashley, are you there?"

"Huh? What?" I finally looked at Spencer. "I spaced out, sorry."

She gave me a big smile. _God, how I love that smile._

"It's okay, I know that. I just wanted to ask you if you maybe…could give me a ride home? Glen somehow disappeared with your sister and I would like to go home soon. But you don't have to, I was just thinking…"

She would probably keep rambling if I didn't stop her. "Hey, it's okay. I would love to give you a ride."

She smiled again. "Thanks."

-----------

During the ride, we sat mostly in comfortable silence. It didn't bother me at all, though. I don't know why, but with her was everything different. And I've known her for just 3 days.

Finally, I pulled in the driveway and switched off the engine. I had déjà vu, because it was just like yesterday.

She turned to me. "Thanks for the ride. I really appreciate it."

"You're welcome."

She smiled and got ready to leave the car.

_Do something, Davies!_

"Umm…"

She stopped.

_Umm…?! Say a sentence, loser!_

"Umm…I was thinking. Would you…maybe go with me, Kyla and Aiden to Gray tomorrow? It's a club over here," I spat finally out.

She stayed quiet for a moment. I got nervous and wanted to take it back, but then finally she said something.

"I'm not really into that stuff," she began, and my face saddened, "but I would love to go with you." I smiled at her and then she blushed and added, "And with your friends."

I returned the smile. "Okay, cool. I'll call you."

"I can't wait," she replied and got out of the car.

I was grinning the whole ride home. _I have a date!_

Umm…I mean, it's not a date, we are going with Kyla and Aiden, but still…

_I can still hope, right?_


	12. Wrong Impression

_Author's note: Hey, guys. Thanks for all of your feedbacks again, I really appreciate it. _

_I know you all love fluff and I don't like drama either, but… Sometimes, a little bit of drama is good. Right?_

_Anyway, enjoy._

**12. Wrong Impression**

When I finally got home, I saw Dad…cooking, as usual.

"Hey, Dad."

He wiped his hands on the apron and smiled. "Hey, honey. How was your day?"

I walked to him and gave him a hug. "Good. I hung out with Ashley."

We pulled apart. "Ashley? Who is Ashley?" he asked, after I'd already stuck my head in the fridge.

I took out the ice cream and replied, "Remember the kid I was looking after?" He nodded.

"Ashley is her mother."

He didn't look very surprised. "Oh, okay. I'm glad you have a new friend. By the way," he smirked at me, "you had a call today." _Huh?_

"Me?" I asked with my mouth full.

"Yes. Alex called you." _Alex?!_

"Alex?! Are you serious?"

He just nodded and laughed as I ran into my room to call him back.

I flopped down on my bed, took out my phone, and dialed his number.

"_Hello?" _God, I missed his voice.

"Hey, jerk." I grinned.

"_Spence?"_

"No, your other best friend." I smiled, although he couldn't see me.

"_Oh, hey, Mandy."_ _What? Who is Mandy?_

"Who is Mandy?"I asked, irritated.

He started laughing. _"Calm down, Spence. I knew it was you. I was just joking." Oh._

"Jerk."

He laughed again. _"Sorry, babe. You know I love you and only you."_

I smiled again. "Really?"

"_Really." _His voice got serious_. "I miss you, Spencer. I miss you so much. You have no idea."_

Suddenly, my eyes started watering. "Trust me, I do. I miss you too, Alex."

He continued, his voice sad. _"I just wish you were still here in Ohio. I feel lost without you. It's like a part of me disappeared."_

I couldn't hold it back anymore and the tears were running down my face. "God, if I could, I would come back. You know I would."

He sighed._ "Yes, I know. I…Spencer, I want to tell you something."_

"What?"

I heard him sobbing. _Is he crying?_

"_Not now. I…I have to go now. I'm sorry, Spencer. I love you." _

He hung up and I just stared at the receiver. _What the hell was that?_

-----

I couldn't sleep that night. I was thinking about Alex and our talk the whole night. What was wrong with him? I'd never seen or heard him cry. Never. Not even when we told each other goodbye. Actually, I was the one who was crying the whole time. Not him. So why did he cry now? And what did he want to tell me?

I didn't get it.

----

The next morning, my cell phone ringing woke me up. I answered immediately, hoping it would be Alex.

"Hello?"

"_Uh…Spencer?" _No, not him. It was Ashley.

"Yeah. Hey, Ashley."Don't ask me how, but I knew her voice perfectly.

"_Hey. I just wanted to ask you if your decision still stands?"_

"Yeah. Just tell me when."

"_I'll pick you up at seven?" _

"Yeah, okay. See you then."

"_Okay, bye for now."_ She hung up. I know, I was probably cold to her, but I really wasn't in the mood after yesterday. Not at all.

-----

It was Saturday. Saturdays meant that my mom was finally home. To tell the truth, I hadn't seen her at all in the last few days. So believe me, I was very surprised when I entered the kitchen and Mom was there, standing by the stove.

"Hey, honey." She smiled as she spotted me.

"Morning," I replied and sat down on the chair. "I'm hungry."

"I made pancakes," she said and gave me some on a plate.

We stayed quiet for a while until I decided to speak again. "Where's Dad?"

Now she was sitting against me at the table, drinking her coffee and reading the news. "Urgent case," she told me, still reading the paper.

"Morning." Glen entered the kitchen, grabbed some pancakes, and sat next to us.

"I heard we're going out tonight, sis," he said, grinning at me.

_We?_

"Ashley told you?"

"Actually, Kyla told me," he replied with food still in his mouth. _Right._

"Where are you guys going?" Mom lifted up her head from the paper, as if she really cared.

"Out," we replied together.

"Right. Have fun then." She returned to reading.

See, that's my Mom. She doesn't really care about me or Glen. Sometimes she acts like she does, but… she just doesn't.

----

It was 7 o'clock. Ashley should be here any minute. Glen was already impatient, asking me what time it was every minute. Finally, we heard the bell ring and he went to open the door.

Both Mom and Dad came into the living room. "What? What are you doing here?" I hissed, not wanting Ashley to hear me.

"We want to meet your friends," replied Mom.

"Why?" I asked again, turning around to see if Ashley and the others were already there. They weren't.

"Hey, there they are," said Dad with smile on his face, looking behind me.

I turned around and saw Ashley with Kyla, Aiden, and Glen behind her. God, she looked beautiful. _And hot. _

She was wearing a _very_ short jean skirt and a cute silver top. _Seriously. She is trying to kill me. _

"Hey, Mr. C," Ashley said, offering her hand to my father and then to my mom, "Mrs. C. I'm Ashley. And this," she pointed on Kyla and Aiden, "is my sister Kyla and a friend. Aiden."

They all shook hands and I was just standing there, still staring at Ashley. Then our eyes finally met and I blushed furiously and looked down at the floor. When I looked up again, she was still looking at me with a big smirk on her face.

_Oh, sweet Jesus, she saw me checking her out. This is so embarrassing. _

"Okay, we should go," pronounced my brother, and we left our house.

It looked like they decided to go in Aiden's car, because he was driving this time. Glen sat next to him and the rest of us sat in the back. I was sitting in the middle, between Kyla and Ashley. Ashley didn't say anything the whole ride there. She was just staring out of the window while Kyla was rambling the whole time. Don't get me wrong, I like her and her rambling, but all I could think of was the other girl sitting right next to me. To make it worse, her knees were touching mine for the entire ride. I could feel her very well, even though I was wearing jeans.

_What's wrong with me? She is a girl! And I'm not gay. Am I?_

-----

After 30 minutes we finally got there, which meant that I finally stopped feeling her warmth next to me.

_I should be glad, right? So why do I miss the warmth of her body? I think I need a drink, even though I don't drink._

It was Saturday, so there were _a lot_ of people inside. We could barely move, but Kyla told us to keep following her. When she stopped, we found an empty table with five seats. We all looked at her, surprised.

"What?" she asked innocently. "I have connections." She smirked and sat down.

_Oookay._

_----_

An hour passed and I was drunk. _Really _drunk. I don't think I've ever had so much to drink in my entire life. I guess I just needed to forget about Alex… and to tell the truth, about Ashley too. I was scared, scared of this feeling I'd never experienced before. I felt something weird and I didn't like it.

She was a _girl._ I mean, I had nothing against gay people, but I was not gay. At least I used to think I wasn't until I met _her._

Now, I'm not so sure. Because of that, I need a drink.

I was sitting on the chair, watching people around me. Okay, I was only watching one person. She was just dancing with Aiden, her hips swaying to the rhythm of the music. I was watching her the whole time, sipping my drink and listening to Kyla and Glen. Or, better said, I just acted like I was listening to them.

_I need a boy. Right.Now._

I finally tore my drunken eyes off of Ashley and looked around until I spotted _him_. He was looking at me with hungry eyes, and I could understand why. I had to say, tonight I looked good. Or hot. Whatever.

I gave him a flirty smile and he returned it. _What? I told you I was drunk. _

Then, finally, he approached us. "Hey. I'm David."

Glen and Kyla lifted up their heads and glanced at him, surprised.

"Spencer," I replied, and watched with amusement as their heads turned to me.

"Dance?" He didn't wait for my answer as he took my hand into his, and pulled me up.

I didn't protest; as I said, I was drunk and I needed to forget about Ashley.

When we got to the dance floor, he pulled me into his strong arms and we started dancing. I noticed Ashley strangely looking at us. _Does she look sad?_

_-----_

We were dancing for a while, skin on skin, when he mumbled something in my ear.

"Wanna get out of here?"

My drunken brain wasn't really thinking, so I just nodded and watched him as he grabbed my wrist and pulled me off the dance floor.

We went out of the club into some dark alley and the next thing I knew, I being pressed against a wall, his strong body so close to mine that I couldn't breathe. His lips attacked mine and his hands were wandering all over my body. I wanted to tell him to stop, that I didn't want it, but I couldn't move; I couldn't even speak.

I tried to push him away, but I was too weak. His hands grasped mine and he was holding them next to my body, so that I couldn't move at all.

_Now I'm really screwed. _

His lips finally left mine and he whispered into my ear, "Don't worry, you'll like it."

_What? Like what?!_

But when his hands started unbuttoning my jeans, I understood.

_No, this is just a bad dream. This couldn't happening. _

I tried to push him away again, but he was too strong. Just when I was about to give up, I heard an angry voice behind us.

"Get your fucking hands off her!"


	13. The Real Thing

_Author's note: Hey guys. I knoooow you all are mad at me because of that cliffhanger, so I really hope you won't be mad after this chapter._

_Tell me, okay? Love ya all._

**13. The Real Thing**

"I don't know if you noticed, Ash, but Spencer has been staring at you all night," said Aiden, chuckling.

"I know. Trust me, I noticed. But she is drunk. I don't think she is even aware of what she's doing."

We'd already been at Gray for an hour and I hadn't managed to talk to her. At all. I'm such a fool. I mean, I wanted to ask her to dance with me, but then I got scared of what she would think. When I finally somehow managed to ask her, she got drunk. Completely drunk. And I really didn't want to dance with a drunk person, not even if it was Spencer.

So instead of her, I'm here with Aiden, dancing and feeling her eyes on me. I know she's been watching me from the beginning. But I saw her drunken eyes. It was just lust, nothing more. _Right?_

"Ashley…Ashley, look," Aiden said and pointed on the dancing couple.

_Spencer._

_Spencer with a boy._

_Spencer very close to the boy._

A mixture of jealousy and sadness coursed through my body as I watched them dancing. Her eyes met mine and I was sure she saw that sadness, because she had a questioning expression on her beautiful face.

I turned away because I just couldn't watch her with _him._ I already hated him. Whoever he was.

-----

After a couple of minutes, I finally glanced over at them again and saw him whispering something in her ear. She just nodded and walked out of the club with him.

_What? She left with a strange guy? _

I turned back to Aiden. "Aiden, Spencer just left with some strange guy. She is drunk. This can't end well."

He stopped dancing and nodded. "We have to find her."

We left the dance floor. "Do you know where they went?" he asked me, looking around.

I shook my head. "No, not really. There are too many people."

"Okay, let's split up. I'll go this way and you go that way. Got it?" He pointed at the side entrance.

"Okay," I replied as we separated.

I was trying to get to the side entrance, but it was hard, because there were a bunch of drunk and dancing people everywhere. Finally, after what seemed like forever, I managed to open the door and I found myself in a dark alley.

I knew this alley very well. I used to go there when I was younger with random people. Those were not good memories.

It was completely dark everywhere, so I couldn't see very well. However, what I could do was hear. And I could hear the moaning coming from somewhere near to me. I looked desperately around, trying to spot where those moans were coming from.

Don't ask me how I was so sure it was Spencer and that Spencer didn't want it. I just was.

Then I finally spotted the profile of a couple being pressed against a wall.

_What the hell?_

Even though it was completely dark outside, I could see that the girl didn't like it at all. She tried to push that guy away, but he was too strong.

"Get your fucking hands off her!" I heard my own angry voice yell.

They both stopped moving and turned to me.

"Fuck off. It's none of your business," he spat out, obviously not liking my interruption.

"But it's my business." I heard a voice behind me.

_Aiden._

"Get the hell away from her," he hissed. _Wow, I didn't know this side of him._

The boy grinned cheekily. "Or what?"

Aiden faced him quickly and punched him in the face. "Or this…"

The guy fell on the ground and groaned in pain.

"Ashley, Spencer."

I glanced at her. She seemed to be shocked and didn't know what to do. She just stood there, furiously shaking and looking down at the ground.

I walked toward her and the only thing I could do was hug her. I pulled her into my arms and she broke down and started crying.

"Hey, it's okay. You're safe now," I was whispering into her hair. "I won't let anyone hurt you again, I promise."

I don't really know if she was even listening to me, so I kept whispering the things I meant. Then she suddenly lifted her head up and looked at me with tearful eyes.

"Thank you," was all she said. But for me it was enough.

Aiden came to us and took Spencer into his strong arms. "We're leaving," he said, and left with Spencer in his arms.

I looked down at that fucking boy again; he was still squirming from the pain on the ground.

_That punch must have really hurt._

But I didn't think he had enough, so I kicked him in the stomach. He groaned even more. Now I was content and, with a satisfied smile, left after Aiden.

--------

As I found out, Aiden had already told Glen and Kyla, because Glen wanted to go and beat the shit out of him. Fortunately, Kyla stopped him before he could do something bad.

We left Gray, and the whole ride back, Spencer was shaking. I think she was still in shock. At least she didn't cry anymore. She had a blank expression on her face, her eyes still big and red from crying.

I was trying to soothe her by stroking her back. I tried to ignore the feeling of touching her and concentrated just on comforting her. It didn't work very well, though.

"Glen, I think she shouldn't go home. Not when she's like this. She should stay over at our place," Kyla told Glen, sitting in the front seat.

He turned around. "Yeah, actually, that's a good idea. If our parents saw her…" He didn't have to finish the sentence.

--------

When we finally got home, Kyla and the others left the car, telling me to take care of Spencer. I think they knew Spencer wouldn't feel good around them all.

I fixed my eyes on her. "Spencer." She didn't respond.

I tried again, this time touching her cheek. She finally looked at me.

"Spencer, we are at my place. You're staying over."

"Okay." This was her first word in an hour.

I took her hand into mine and pulled her out of the car. The others were already there, standing in the living room.

Spencer was standing right behind me, hugging herself, eyes fixed on the floor.

"We have to go now. I have to drop Glen home," said Aiden and glanced at Spencer.

Kyla nodded and escorted them to the door. Glen took one last glance at Spencer, kissed her on the forehead, and left.

I stayed with Spencer alone in the living room, thinking of where she should sleep. _In a guest room or…_

"I think she should sleep with you," Kyla said, interrupting my thoughts as she came back.

I raised my eyebrow.

"You know how I am in my sleep." _Right. She is horrible when she sleeps. She would kick her out of the bed._

"Okay. I'll take care of her," I replied.

"Okay." She went to Spencer and kissed her on the forehead, whispering "goodnight" to her before leaving us alone.

I took her by the hand, heading to my room, and she followed me without a word.

This was the first time she saw my room, but she didn't seem to even notice it. She was just standing there, expression still blank. I didn't exactly know what do to, so I picked out a tank top and shorts and handed them to her.

"The bathroom is over there," I pointed to the door next to her. She glanced at me, took the clothes and closed the door behind her.

While she was changing, I changed my clothes too. When I was done changing, she emerged from the bathroom and what I saw left me speechless again.

I'd never seen her just in shorts and a top but my fantasy couldn't be better. She looked beautiful and hot, even though her eyes were still big and red and her makeup smudged.

She looked at me and blushed and I kicked myself for being so obvious while checking her out. I looked away and pointed at the bed.

"You can sleep there and I'll take the couch."

She looked at me with pleading eyes. "I don't wanna sleep alone."

_Oookay._

"Okay," I replied, climbing onto bed and nodding at her to let her know she should too.

She didn't wait long. As we both lay down, I was trying not to get too close to her, because honestly, I was scared to.

"Umm…could you….maybe get closer?" she asked shyly.

_Uh huh…_

I did what she asked me to, pulling her closer to me, and I felt her body on mine. Her red-rimmed eyes stared into mine. She relaxed in my arms and after a few seconds, I saw her slowly closing her eyes. Mine soon followed.


	14. This Is The Moment

_Author's note: Oookay, here is another update. _

_Oh, and I know you all can't wait till Spashley finally begin, but I want this fic take slowly. But I promise, Spashley is close._

**14. This Is The Moment**

The next morning I woke up and felt a warm body pressed against my back.

_Where am I?_ I was thinking, until the things of previous night came back into my mind.

_God, I was so screwed. I thought he was gonna rape me. And then she came and saved me. _

I felt a body behind me stir and a hand around my waist pulled me even closer. It felt so nice being in her arms. Our bodies fit perfectly; it was obvious.

I wanted… no, I _needed_ to see her, so I slowly turned my whole body around, hoping she wouldn't wake up. She didn't.

And she looked beautiful. I've never thought a human can look so beautiful in their sleep. Maybe it's just her. Who knows?

I was watching her for a few minutes; her soft dark hair, perfect eyebrows, long eyelashes and her closed eyes that are so dark and warm when they're open and looking at me, her cute nose that crinkles every time she smiles or laughs and finally, her lips. Full, inviting lips I'm dying to kiss.

But I know I can't. She is not gay; she has a daughter with Aiden. And even if she were, I'm not gay either. But I would give anything just to kiss those lips. Just one kiss, nothing more.

She stirred again and slowly opened her beautiful eyes, so finally I could see them in their full beauty. I realized that I'd never seen them so close like now.

"Hey." She smiled.

I returned it. "Hey."

"How are you feeling?" Her hand was still around my waist and she didn't seem to want to take it back, fortunately.

"Better."

Then, her face got serious. "Do you remember everything?"

Oh, yeah, I remembered everything. Me being drunk, dancing with that guy, seeing her sad when she looked at us, being pressed against the wall with him so close to me that I couldn't breathe. I also remember that she saved me.

"Yeah. Thanks for saving me."

She blushed slightly. "You're welcome. I would kill that bastard if I could. Thank God Aiden gave him what he deserved," she smirked.

Right, I almost forgot. I remembered that Aiden punched him in his face. It's a pity I couldn't do it by myself.

All of a sudden, my head started hurt. Badly.

"What's wrong?" she asked, concerned.

"I will never drink again," I pronounced and closed my eyes, hoping it wouldn't hurt that much.

She giggled. "I bet you wont."

I felt the warmth of her body disappear. I opened my eyes and saw her already standing above me.

"I'll bring you some painkillers," she said, and left the room.

_Yes, that's what I need right now. Even though I already miss her being with me. _

_God, what's wrong with me? Why do I have those strange feelings?_

Nobody answered the question, of course, as Ashley came back with aspirin and a glass of water in her hands. She sat down next to me and handed them to me.

"Here. It's gonna be better, I promise."

I took the pills and glanced at her thankfully. "Thank you. For everything."

I think she understood, because she just smiled warmly and replied, "Its okay. As I said, I won't let anyone hurt you."

_God, why must be so damn nice? It's kinda hard not liking her like that when she acts like this._

"Anyway, where is Amy?" I asked, changing the subject. God knows I needed it.

"Aiden's place," she said, still sitting _very_ close to me.

Just as she finished the sentence, the door opened and a little dark-haired girl rushed into bedroom with Kyla behind her.

"Spencyyyyy," she shrieked, running toward me. _Ouch, my poor head._

"Sorry, Spence, Aiden just dropped her home and she wanted to see you," Kyla said apologetically, seeing my pained look.

"It's okay, Ky," I said and watched Amy as she tried to climb onto the bed. When she finally did it, she threw herself in my arms and we both fell back onto the mattress, making Ashley and Kyla giggle.

"I think she loves you," said Ashley with smile.

Amy was lying on top of me, her small head buried into my neck.

"I've missed you, Spency," she mumbled.

"I've missed you too, honey," I replied, softly stroking her brown hair.

Then she lifted up her head and asked, "Play?"

I wanted to say something, but Ashley interrupted me. "Spencer can't right now, baby. Her head hurts and she needs rest." Amy pouted her face, so she added, "But I'm sure she will play with you later, right Spencer?"

Amy looked at me with her big pleading eyes. I smirked. "For sure."

"Okay, baby. Now go with aunt Kyla and she'll make you breakfast, okay?" She looked at Kyla, who nodded.

"'Kay," replied Amy, giving me a kiss on the cheek and climbing out of the bed.

"She is adorable," I told Ashley when they both were gone.

She was still sitting next to me. "I know," she said, and stood up. "You should sleep."

_What? I don't want to sleep._

"I don't need sleep," I proclaimed and to prove it to her, I tried to stand up.

_Okay, maybe it wasn't the best idea._

Suddenly, the whole world around me started rotating. Ashley was immediately next to me and helped me sit down again.

"Okay, maybe I can't stand up, but I don't need sleep anyway."

_I can be stubborn when I want to._

She sighed. "Okay, so what do you want to do?"

_You have no idea, Ashley._

"Umm…I don't know. Maybe talk?" _Talk? I don't want to talk! God, why am I so stupid sometimes?_

She walked around the bed and sat up next to me, crossing her legs. _Her tan, smooth legs._

"What do you want to talk about?" she asked curiously.

_Jesus Christ, what do I want to talk about????_

"Umm…uh…"

"Okay, I'll start," she smirked at me. _Thank God._

"Why did you go with that boy?"

_Fuck._

"I…uh… Honestly, I don't know. I wasn't really thinking, I was drunk."

_At least you didn't lie._

She nodded. "I didn't know you drank."

I snorted. "Actually, I don't. I just… I don't know why I was drinking last night." _Oh, you so do know. _"Maybe I just needed it." _Wtf?! You so shouldn't have said that!_

She looked surprised. "Needed it? Why did you need it, Spencer?"

_What now, loser? Be smart now._

"I…uh…" Thank God I didn't have to answer that, because Kyla entered the room. I saw Ashley glare at her, obviously not happy about the interruption, unlike me.

"Sorry for interrupting. I just wanted to ask you if you guys want breakfast?"

I think my stomach answered this instead of me, as a strange sound came out.

"I think that means yes," Ashley smirked at me and I furiously blushed.

"Uh huh." _I'm such a fool._

When my head stopped hurting, we went downstairs and had a perfect breakfast with Kyla and Amy.

After breakfast I played with Amy while Ashley and Kyla were just lying on the couch, watching TV or us.

I didn't complain, though. I loved every minute spent with Amy. She was a little angel.

After an hour of playing with Amy, I glanced at my watch and told Ashley I had to go. She just nodded and grabbed her keys. I said goodbye to Kyla and Amy. She didn't want me to leave and I thought she was gonna cry again, but when I promised her to come back soon and tickled her, she giggled and let me go.

We sat in a comfortable silence again, until she pulled in our driveway and switched off the engine. She turned to me and smiled like always.

"Thanks for playing with Amy. She really loves you."

I blushed. "Yeah, I love her too. She is the most adorable girl ever. Together with her mother, of course."

_WHAT? Did I just say that out loud? Fuck, fuck, fuck…_

I blushed furiously, looked down, and started rambling.

"I mean…I…uh…"

Then I felt a warm hand under my chin, lifting my head up. When my eyes met with Ashley's again, I saw something strange in them. I didn't know what it was, but she was looking at me different.

"Thanks. You're adorable too. Especially when you're rambling."

I felt my face got even redder. "Uh…thanks."

She caressed my cheek for a while, but when I leaned into the touch, she pulled back. The strange look was still in her eyes.

"I should go," I said, not really wanting to.

She saddened. "Yeah."

Then she leaned in and I thought she was going to hug me. But no, she gave me a kiss on the cheek and let her lips linger for a few seconds, then pulled away.

_Now my face has to be like a tomato._

I shyly smiled at her and finally got out of the car. I could feel her stare on me until I got to the door. I turned around to see her one more time; she was still there, her eyes fixed on me. I waved my hand; she returned it and drove off.

When she was gone, I leaned against the door and sighed.

_I think I'm in love. With a girl. _


	15. The Way She Does

_Author's note: Thanks for all your feedbacks. I love them, so keep them going, please :)_

_Anyway, this chapter is kinda short and slow and I'm really sorry for that. But next chapters will be…well, you'll see soon. Let's say, a little bit of drama. _

**15. The Way She Does**

I was finally able to kiss her. Even if it was just on her cheek, I finally could touch her, feel her, smell her. That's all I wanted, so why do I want…no, why do I need more?

When I got back home, Kyla was already in the living room waiting for me. When she is waiting for me, it means she wants to talk. And I don't like such talks. Not really.

"Sit down, Ashley," she ordered, and I obeyed.

_Why am I doing what she wants all the time?_

"We have to talk."

"About what?" I asked innocently. But honestly, I knew exactly what she wanted to talk about.

She glared at me. "You know exactly about what. I saw you looking at her."

_Damn, she caught me. Deny everything!_

"I don't know what you're talking about, Kyla."

"Ashley, don't play stupid. Do you really think I'm blind? Well, I have news for you. I'm not."

_Busted!_

I sighed. "Look, Ky. It's nothing big, just a crush. I'll get over her soon, I swear."

"Are you even listening to me?" she asked, irritated. "I saw you looking at her. And I've never seen you looking at someone like _that. _Not even at Aiden, when you were together. That's not just a crush, Ashley, and you know it."

Now I got mad and angrily stood up off the couch. "No? If you're so smart, then tell me, what is it?!"

"You're in love with her."

When she spoke those words, those five words, I realized she was right. She was completely right and I couldn't say anything to deny it.

I sat down back on the couch and sadly looked at her. "I'm screwed, Ky. This time, I really am."

Her eyes softened as she sat next to me and stroked my back. "Hey, it's gonna be okay."

I glanced at her, knowing it wouldn't. "This is so not going to be okay, sis. You're right, I do love her. But she's straight."

Kyla snorted. "How can you be so sure? She's never said if she is gay, straight, or whatever."

"I saw her with that boy yesterday. I saw them dancing. I'm not stupid."

She snorted even more. "It looks like you are. As I said before, I'm not blind. I saw her looking at you the same way you're looking at her. She likes you, Ashley. It's so obvious. She is probably just too shy to show you. That's all."

"But you saw her with that boy too!"

She stood up, obviously already desperate. "But she was DRUNK! Jesus Christ, she was totally drunk and didn't know what she was doing."

She was waving her hands as she was talking, the sign for me to stop being stupid.

"Okay, okay. I get it." I gave up. I looked around the room. "Where is Amy?"

Kyla stopped waving and replied, "In her room playing. Now go and call Spencer."

_What?_

"What? Uh…I just saw her. I think…it's too soon for a call, isn't it?"

"No, it's not, actually. Go and call her." She didn't wait for my answer before she went after Amy.

I knew she would be pissed if I didn't do what she wanted, so I headed to my room, closed the door and grabbed the phone.

_Isn't this a little too soon? Maybe she is sleeping, or eating, or…_

_God, stop being such a pussy and just call her!_

With shaky hands, I finally managed to dial her number.

"_Hello?"_

_What now? What should I say? Anything, just say anything, for Christ's sake!_

"Uh…hey, it's Ashley."

"_Oh. Hey, Ash. What's up?" Ash? Since when does she call me Ash? _

"Nothing much, I just wanted to see if you're feeling better."

She chuckled. _"Yeah, I feel better. My head still hurts, though. But I feel a lot better."_

I smiled, even though she couldn't see me. "I'm glad."

We stayed quiet for a few seconds, neither of us knowing what to say.

"_Ashley?"_ She spoke again.

"Yeah?"

"_I know I already said it, but thank you. If you wouldn't have been there last night…"_ She didn't have to finish.

"It's okay. I'm just glad I was there and even more glad that Aiden was there." I grinned.

She giggled. _"Oh, yeah, that boy got what he deserved."_

-----

We talked for an hour and after every sentence, I was falling harder and harder. It was just the way she laughed or chuckled or even said my name.

Kyla was right. I was badly in love. And all I wished was for her to love me back.

Maybe one day.


	16. In His Eyes

_Authors note: Thanks for the feedbacks again and here is the next chapter. _

_Oh, and about that "drama". As you'll see, it won't be that kind of drama, when Spashley break up, make up, then again break up and blah. I don't like it in other fics and I swear it won't be in this fic._

_But yeah, it will bring Spashley together :)_

**16. In His Eyes**

A couple of days passed and I got closer with Ashley than ever. I even got closer with the rest of her friends: Kyla, Aiden, and Chelsea. And because Glen and Kyla started dating, my brother was with us all the time.

I didn't get it; in Ohio I had just Alex. People there hated me for no reason, then I get to L.A, and after just a couple of days I have friends. And I have to say that I have great friends. They can all be such fools sometimes, especially Aiden and Kyla, but I love them anyway.

But to tell the truth, my life here isn't as great as you may think. Yes, I have friends, but an enemy too. Because of some unknown reason, Madison hates me. But she hates all of us.

Well, all of us except Kyla. She is somehow very scared of her; she never gets close to us when Kyla is with us. None of us really get it. I mean, really, who would be scared of _Kyla?_

I asked Ashley about it, but she has no idea. Kyla doesn't want to tell any of us.

Oh, and about Ashley.

She's been weird the last couple of days. As I said, we got really close, which is bad for me, because I still can't stop those feelings I have for her. I can't stop them even if I don't want them. It's not because I'm scared of falling in love with a girl anymore, because I already am in love with her, but it's 'cause I don't know if she feels the same.

I mean, I thought she did, she acted like that, but not anymore. As I said, she's acting strange lately, she doesn't hug me everytime she can like before, our hands don't "accidentally" touch anymore. I don't really know what's wrong with her, if she got scared, but something changed. But I'm too scared to ask.

-----

"I'm bored, people."

I was sitting at the table with Ashley, Kyla, and Glen when Aiden joined and groaned from boredom.

Kyla rolled her eyes. "You're not the only one. School is boring. There's like nothing to do, just sitting and doing nothing."

Well, for me it wasn't that bad. I was happy when I could just sit and watch people around me. Especially one certain person, of course. Right now, she was talking to Glen about something obviously interesting, and Glen said something funny probably, because she laughed and her nose crinkled in that cute way I loved so much.

My cell phone interrupted me from watching her when it rang. Someone texted me and when I checked who, I was surprised.

_Alex?_

He hadn't called me since that night.I opened the message and read the text.

Lift your head up.

_What?_

I didn't get it until I did what he asked me to. Then my breath stopped.

_Alex._

He stood there, just a couple of steps away from me, looking at me with big smile on his face.

I froze, didn't know what to do, just stared at him, oblivious to the rest of the world.

_Alex. He's here. He came._

Then another message came. I finally moved and opened it.

What about a hug?

I lifted up my head, my blue eyes meeting his brown again and I finally moved, not noticing the confused looks coming from my friends.

I stood up and just ran. Ran into his arms, arms I'd missed so much those few weeks. He pulled me into a hug and just held me as if he didn't want to let me go ever again. I didn't protest. Instead, I was holding him as close as I could, tears running down my face.

We didn't speak the whole time. We didn't have to.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, we pulled apart and looked each other in the eyes.

I saw the tears in his eyes. He didn't cry, though; just a couple of tears.

"I missed you, Spence," he said as he wiped the tears from my cheeks.

I leaned into his touch. "I missed you too. What are you doing here?"

His hand still lingered on my cheek as he replied, "I had to see you."

I took his hand from my cheek in my own. "How long are you staying?"

He sighed. "I don't know. We'll see."

I nodded, not wanting to think about him leaving and pulled him with me to introduce him to my friends.

As we approached them, I saw the jealousy that flashed across Ashley's eyes. This time I was sure. It was jealousy.

"Alex, man, what are you doing here?" Glen jumped on Alex and hugged him.

"Wanted to see you, bro."

"Guys, this is Alex. My best friend," I introduced him, glancing over at Ashley.

She was looking down at our hands and I only now realized that our hands were still connected. I quickly released my hand from his, and continued, "Alex, these are my friends. Kyla, Aiden and Ashley."

They all shook hands, except Ashley. She just coldly nodded at him when Alex joined us at the table.

"How did you get here?" Glen asked him.

"I took a couple of days off because I wanted to see you and Spencer. I missed you," Alex replied, taking my hand in his own again.

"Man, we missed you too. How long are you here?"

Alex sighed. "I have no idea."

They all kept talking about Alex while I was just listening to them and watching Ashley. She was still looking at our linked hands, and when she lifted her head up and met my stare, she didn't look away. Instead, we were staring into each other eyes for what seemed like forever, while the others were talking and laughing.

Then I heard Alex cough and when I glanced at him, I saw something different. _He_ looked different. _Why didn't I notice it earlier?_

He looked awfully pale and very, very tired. His lips were dry and cracked; his whole body looked somehow different.

_What's wrong with him? Maybe he is just tired from a long trip._

_Yeah, he is just tired._

_ ---------  
_

When we got home from school, we found out that our parents knew about him being here. He told me my parents agreed that he'd stay at our place in a guestroom. I was really thankful, because all I wanted was to have him close to me.

"I'm gonna show you my room." I pushed him upstairs to my room.

"Wow, you have it nice here, Spence," he said as he sat down on the bed next to me.

I grinned. "Thanks. I'm really happy you're here, Alex."

"Spencer, we have to talk." He got serious and I knew something's wrong.

"Do you remember our last call?"

I nodded. _How could I forget?_

"I'm sorry for the way I acted then," he apologized, and ducked his head down.

"Hey, it's okay. If you want to tell me something, do it," I said, taking his hand.

He glanced at our hands and stroked mine with his thumb. Then he looked back at me.

"I'm sick, Spencer."

_Huh?_

"Sick? How sick?" I asked, confused.

"Cancer," he whispered.

"What?" I thought I heard wrong.

"I have cancer," he said, this time louder.

I pulled my hand back and stood up of the bed.

"Cancer? I…but…you look healthy. Okay, maybe you're a little pale and… but you don't look like someone with cancer."

I know, I was rambling nonsense, but I couldn't think clearly.

He stood up and faced me. "Spencer…"

"How long?" I interrupted him.

He glanced at me, obviously confused.

"How long have you known?"

"A month." _What?_

"A month? A whole month? You knew before I moved?"

He nodded.

I looked at him, tears already forming in my eyes. "How could you?" I hissed.

He tried to touch me, but I pushed him away. "Don't."

"I'm sorry, Spencer. I wanted to tell you, I really did. But I couldn't. I wasn't ready. Then you left and I didn't want to tell you over the phone."

"Why now?" I asked, tears streaming down my cheeks.

He stayed quiet, but I needed to know the answer.

"Why now?" I repeated, this time more urgently.

"I had to see you before…" He stopped, looking down at the floor.

"Before what, Alex?"

He lifted his head up again and I saw the tears running down his face.

"I'm dying, Spencer."


	17. So Close

_Author's note: Alright, here is another update. Thanks for all of your feedbacks, I truly love them._

_Hope you guys will like this and won't kill me or something._

_Anyway, the song is by Skillet – Say Goodbye. I love it; it's one of the best songs ever._

_Enjoy._

**17. So Close**

_Alex_. Whoever he was, I didn't like him. Okay, maybe he was cute and friendly, but still. I didn't like him.

The way he looked at Spencer. The way _she_ looked at him. I didn't like it. Not at all.

On the other side, I don't have a real reason for jealousy. We are just friends. Nothing more than that.

But God, I don't want to be just friends. It's killing me. It's killing me that she may meet somebody else and leave me, and it's killing me that I can't touch her like I really want.

Maybe that's the reason why I stopped being touchy. It hurt just to be able to hug her, nothing more. It hurt, so I stopped, even though I miss it so much.

I was supposed to call her last night, just like I do every night. But I didn't. I think she was too busy with _him_ and I didn't want to interrupt them.

Ugh, why am I so jealous? I'm not used to feeling this way. I've never been jealous of anyone. And look at me now, the jealousy is eating me alive.

-----

There she is. She's walking towards me, her hips swaying as she walks, but not looking at me. She's not looking at anyone, actually. Okay, but I can't be sure, because she's wearing big, dark sunglasses.

_Wait. Why does she have sunglasses on? She never wears them._

"Hey," I said as she sat down at the table.

"Hey," she replied curtly.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm just tired."

"Long night, huh?" I was trying to be nonchalant, but the sound of my voice was anything but.

"Yeah, something like that."

"Yeah, I get it," I replied coldly.

_I knew it. He is not just her best friend from Ohio._

"Where is your _friend?"_ I asked, saying the word _friend_ ironically.

She didn't seem to notice it, though. "He stayed home. He didn't feel well."

_Did I just hear pain in her voice?_

"Right."

---------

We stayed in silence the rest of the day, not talking to each other at all. But she, unlike me, didn't talk with anyone the whole day in school. It was weird, I'd never seen her like that. I was trying to ignore that, thinking it was just some problems with Alex, but something still bugged me to ask her. I was too stubborn, though.

I was walking through the schoolyard with Kyla when I saw her sitting all alone under the huge tree. We used to sit there together sometimes.

"Ashley, what's wrong with Spencer?" Kyla obviously noticed it too.

I sighed. "I don't know, Ky. Did you ask her?"

"Yeah, I did. She said it was nothing, but I don't believe her. She's been wearing those sunglasses the all day. That's weird. I think she's hiding something."

I nodded. "Yeah, I think so too. I asked Glen, but he didn't know anything either. He just said that he heard a huge fight between her and Alex."

Kyla raised her perfectly eyebrow. "Fight?"

"Yeah, fight. He said they were arguing about something, but neither of them wanted to tell him about it."

"That's weird," she said, glancing over in Spencer's direction again.

"I think you should talk to her."

_Me? Actually, why not?_

"Okay," I agreed, "see you later." I headed over to Spencer.

She was listening to her iPod, so she didn't see me coming. I sat down next to her, leaning against the tree. She finally glanced at me through her sunglasses and turned away again.

_Okay, what now?_

I took one of her headphones away and put it into my ear, listening to the song along with her.

_Things are changing  
It seems strange and  
I need to figure this out   
You've got your life  
I got mine  
But you're all I cared about  
Yesterday we were laughing  
Today I'm left here asking   
Where has all the time gone now  
I'm left alone somehow   
Growing up and getting older  
I don't want to believe it's over_

Don't say goodbye  
Cause I don't wanna hear those words tonight  
Cause maybe it's not the end for you and I  
And although we knew  
This time would come for me and you  
Don't say anything tonight  
If you're gonna say goodbye

Do you remember  
In December  
How we swore we'd never change  
Even though you're leaving  
That our feelings  
Would always stay the same  
I wish we could be laughing  
Instead I'm standing here asking  
Do we have to end this now  
Can we make it last somehow   
We both know what we've gotta say, not today  
Cause I don't wanna leave this way

And if it's over  
It hurts but I'm giving you my word  
I hope that you're always  
Happy like we were  
Happy like we were 

What a nice song.

I took the headphone out of my ear and did the same with her. She looked at me, obviously surprised, even though I couldn't see her eyes.

"What's wrong, Spencer? Talk to me, please."

"Nothing, I'm fine," she replied and wanted to put the headphones in her ears again. I stopped her, grasping her hands. She flinched.

"Don't touch me." _Okay..?_

I quickly pulled my hands away. "I'm sorry." _What the hell is wrong with her?_

"Spencer, put the sunglasses down," I said softly.

"No."

"Spencer, please."

She seemed to think about it and slowly took them away. She uncovered her red and swollen eyes. She looked like she'd been crying all night.

"What happened?"

"Nothing," she replied and looked away.

"Spencer, please," I used my pleading voice.

She finally looked straight into my eyes and I saw the tears forming in hers. I wasn't sure if she'd flinch again, but I slowly raised my hand and touched her cheek, stroking it.

"He is dying," she managed, trying not to cry.

_What? Who?_

I think she saw my confused face, because she added, "Alex. He is dying."

_Jesus Christ._

I didn't really know what to say, so I just pulled her into my arms, hugging her tightly, stroking her soft hair, while she sobbed into my neck.

_------_

After a while, she stopped crying and we pulled apart.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked sympathetically.

She shook her head. "Okay. Is there anything I can do?" I asked again.

"Could you…could you just get me out of here?"

I nodded, grabbed her hand, and left the school. I knew she didn't want to go home, so I took her to my place since nobody was home.

We were lying on my bed and just staring at the ceiling.

"Spence?" I broke the silence.

"Hmm?"

"I know you don't want to talk about it, but…what's wrong with him?" I had to know.

"Cancer," she whispered.

_Oh._

"I'm really sorry," I said honestly. Suddenly I wasn't so sure if I really didn't like him.

She didn't reply, but I didn't expect her to.

"Ashley?" This time she broke the silence.

"Hmm?

"Could you hold me?" she whispered quietly.

"Uh…sure." I turned around so that we were facing each other and pulled her closer to me, my hand around her waist, holding her tightly.

"Thank you," she smiled sadly.

"You're welcome," I replied, staring her in the eyes, then her nose. My gaze went slowly down and finally stopped on her lips.

I returned to her eyes and found them staring back at me. Then I got back to her lips when I saw her licking them. _Oh my God._

"Spencer, I…" I started, but she interrupted me as she leaned in.

_Please, don't let this be just a dream._

I felt her breath on me as her lips were almost touching mine and just when I wanted to close the gap, her phone rang.

_Fuck._

She quickly pulled away and sat down on the bed. I followed suit.

_God, I was so close._

"Hello?" she answered the phone.

I heard a voice talking to her and then she let the cell phone fall out of her hand.

"No," was the only word she whispered.


	18. Say Goodbye

_Author's note: Okay guys, here is another chapter. _

_Umm…I'm kinda scared to post it here, so…don't kill me. Please…? (puppy eyes) _

_Anyway, I LOVE your feedbacks, so keep them going, pwease. Thanks._

**18. Say Goodbye**

"Spencer, I…" she started, but I ignored her and leaned in. I didn't want her to speak, I didn't want me to speak, all I wanted was to kiss her.

So I leaned in and waited for her to make the next step when my cell phone rang. I quickly pulled away, not really wanting to, but I knew if I didn't move then, I wouldn't move at all.

"Hello?" I answered the phone.

"Spencer, you have to come home. Something happened. Alex…" My dad kept talking, but I wasn't listening to him anymore.

I dropped the phone on the bed, whispering just one word. "No."

-----

Then everything seemed to be like some kind of bad movie. I remember Ashley taking my phone, talking with my dad, then grabbing me by the hand and driving me to the hospital.

I'd always hated hospitals. I spent two weeks in one when I was 10. I hated the food there, the doctors and nurses, everything. And my mom wanted me to be a doctor like her. Pleaaase. Me, a doctor? No way.

"Hi, my name is Ashley Davies and we came to see Alex Harrison," Ashley told the nurse sitting behind the desk.

"Are you family?" she asked, glaring at us. _See, that's why I hate hospitals. _

"Spencer?" We turned around and I saw my mom approaching us.

"Hey, Mrs. C."

"Hey, Ashley. Follow me," she told us, and led us somewhere else.

The room she took us to was already filled with friends, even Kyla.

"Is it bad?" was my first question.

Mom gave me a serious look and nodded. "I'm sorry, Spencer."

I felt the tears already forming in my eyes, but I ignored them. I didn't want to cry.

"What happened?" I heard Ashley's voice behind me.

"After you left school, he stayed the whole day in his room, which I found weird, so I went to check him up and I found him lying on the bed with a high fever. He couldn't move or speak, so I called an ambulance," said Dad.

_Thank God he stayed home today._

"Did you know?" I asked Mom. _I'm sure she knew what I'm talking about._

She just nodded. "He told us when he came. But he didn't want us to tell you."

_Great. Everyone knew. Except me. _

Well, me and Glen, because I'm sure he didn't know anything until now.

"Doctor Carlin?" A nurse entered the room.

"Yes?"

"Your patient, Alex Harrison, wants to see…," she paused and looked down at her papers.

They all looked at me.

"Ashley."_What?_

Everyone surprised glanced at Ashley, who, when she heard her name, coughed.

"M…me?"

The nurse checked her papers again. "Are you Ashley?"

She nodded.

"Then yes, you. He said Ashley." Then she left.

"Come, I'll take you to him," Mom told Ashley, who looked at me, scared of what I would think.

I just smiled at her. "Go."

They left and I slumped down in the chair and turned on my iPod, ignoring the others.

To tell the truth, I wasn't expecting Alex to want to see Ashley. I mean, why her? They haven't even talked.

But, on the other hand, I could understand why he doesn't want to see_me._

_Flashback_

"_Dying? What do you mean, dying?" _

"_I…" he sighed desperately. "I'm dying, Spencer and I don't really know how else to explain it."_

"_But…but you can't die. I mean…you're only 17…you're too young to die," I tried to formulate words between sobs._

_Now we both were crying. _

"_Spencer…" he tried to say something, but the sobs coming out from him stopped him._

"_NO!" I screamed._

"_You're NOT dying! Do you hear me?! You are NOT gonna die!" I screamed again. I turned around and slammed the door behind me, leaving him alone._

_I left the house, not wanting to run into someone from my family. I didn't know where I was going, but I kept walking. _

_I wanted to go to Ashley's, but then I changed my mind. I really didn't want to talk to anyone, not even her._

_I went to the park and stayed there for hours. I was just sitting on the bench and crying. Nothing more, just crying till I couldn't anymore._

_After couple of hours I came back home. Luckily nobody saw me, so I locked myself in my room and cried until I fell asleep._

I really can understand why he doesn't want to see me. My last words to him were just some fucking screaming. I shouldn't have screamed at him. It's not his fault.

-------

I think I fell asleep on that hard chair, because I felt a hand softly shaking me. I opened my eyes and saw a beautiful pair of brown ones belonging Ashley.

"Spencer, he wants to see you," she said.

"Okay," I nodded and followed her into his room. She stopped in front of the room, hinting that I should go inside alone.

When I opened the door, I stopped, just wanting to turn around and leave.

He was lying in the hospital bed, tubes and machines everywhere. I turned around and saw Ashley, sympathetically staring at me. "Go."

I listened to her and closed the door behind me.

"You can come closer, I don't bite," I heard his voice quietly whispering.

I did what he asked me to and sat on the chair next to his bed.

"Hey." He smiled weakly.

"Hey."

"Look, Spencer…" he started, but I didn't let him finish.

"No, Alex. I…I'm sorry. I didn't mean the things I said yesterday. I just…I don't want to lose you." I felt the tears in my eyes.

"Come here," he said, opening his arms. I didn't wait and immediately jumped into him, hugging him.

He groaned and I pulled away a little. "I…I'm sorry, did it hurt?"

"No, it's okay. Just hug me, please," he begged and I did it. I hugged him as tight as I could, tears already streaming down my face and onto his neck.

We stayed like that a couple of mins, just hugging each other and he stroked my hair. Then we pulled apart and I stretched out on the bed next to him.

"Ashley is really nice."

I smiled. "I know."

"She really likes you."

"I like her too. She is a great friend." _Yeah, just a friend._

"Do you like her more than a friend?"

"What?!" I looked at him, surprised.

"Come on, Spence. I know you. And I saw you looking at her yesterday."

_Should I deny it?_

I sighed.

"I knew it," he chuckled, which made him cough.

I glanced at him, terrified. "Are you okay?"

Then he stopped. "Yeah, I'm fine." He continued, "Did you tell her?"

This time it was me who chuckled. "No, I didn't."

"Why not? She really cares about you, Spence. You should tell her."

"I can't," I groaned. "I'm too scared."

His voice got serious. "Don't be, Spencer. Life is too short for being scared," he whispered.

Something wasn't right. I could hear in his voice that he was weak and tired.

I turned to him and saw his eyes closed. "Alex? Alex, are you alright?"

He didn't answer, just laid there, eyes closed and his breath slow. I sat up and softly shook him.

"Alex?"

He finally opened his eyes and I breathed out. _Thank God._

He fixed his eyes on me as he whispered, "I love you, Spencer. I want you to know it. I will always love you, please, don't forget it."

The tears were streaming down my cheeks again. "Don't say it. Please, don't."

"Promise me, Spencer. Promise you won't forget."

"I…" I wanted to say something, but he interrupted me.

"Promise me."

"I won't. I promise," I finally replied and he smiled weakly at me, closing his eyes again.

"Thank you," were his last words, because then the machine started beeping.

"Alex? Alex?" I shook him, but this time he didn't react.

Then it was like a movie again. The doctors and nurses rushed into the room, taking me away from him. I watched them as they tried saving his life, but it was too late. After a few minutes, they stopped and Mom turned to me.

"NO!" I screamed. "NO! Please, don't."

"Honey, I'm sorry." She tried to touch me, but I pushed her away.

"No…no…he can't be dead, I need him. I need him here with me," I managed between the sobs.

I felt a pair of slim hands slipping around my waist, turning me around, and I spotted sad brown eyes.

_Ashley._

I tried to push her away, not wanting anyone to touch me, but she was stronger. She held me when I tried to hit her and she still held me when I gave up and broke down in her arms.

"Shh…it's gonna be okay," she kept whispering and stroked my hair as I sobbed into her shoulder.

I knew it wouldn't be okay. I just lost my best friend.

This would never be okay.


	19. This Kiss

_Author's note: Hey guys. Here is another update and I really, really hope you all will enjoy this. Just tell me, okay?_

_Thanks for all the feedbacks, I love them. _

_And the song is Missing You by Jem._

**19. This Kiss**

Four days passed since that day. Four days without Spencer's smile or laugh. Without her crying too, though, because she didn't cry since the day Alex died. Not even one single tear; absolutely nothing.

She wasn't the same Spencer I knew. I mean, I understand, her best friend just died. But I missed her being _her_.

_Am I too selfish?_

----

We are on a plane on our way to Ohio for Alex's funeral. Yeah, _we. _From some reason Spencer's family wanted me to go there with them. Yes, her family. Not _her_. I don't really know if she wanted me to go or not, because she said nothing about it. But her family thought she needed someone. Well, it looks like that someone is me.

I still can't believe that Alex wanted to see me the day he died. I mean, really, why me?

_Flashback_

_I entered the room and saw him lying on the bed, hardly breathing._

"_Hey." I shyly smiled._

_He noticed me. "Hey. Come closer, I won't bite you, I promise," he chuckled with a husky voice._

_I sat down next to him on the chair. "Did you want to see me?"_

"_Yeah, I did. So, you love my best friend, huh?" He looked me straight in the eyes, smiling._

"_I…uh…"_

"_I don't need your answer. I know you do."_

_I raised my eyebrow. "How?"_

_He chuckled again. Or, he tried to chuckle, because instead he coughed. "C'mon, Ashley. I'm not stupid. Do you really think I didn't see that? Your eyes were practically screaming jealousy."_

"_Oh. I didn't realize it." I looked down, suddenly embarrassed._

"_Hey, it's okay. I'm happy Spencer finally found someone who loves her."_

"_But…I don't know if she feels the same."_

_He looked at me as if I were stupid. "Of course she does. I know my best friend and she does feel the same way."_

"_So this was the reason why you wanted to see me?"_

_He coughed again._

"_Do you want a glass of water?" I asked, concerned._

_He just shook his head. "No, that wasn't the reason. I wanted to ask you to take care of her. She isn't as strong as she seems. Maybe she acts like she doesn't need anyone, but she does. She is still the little blond girl I used to protect. And I need you to protect her instead of me. Please, look after her. She will need someone."_

_I quickly interrupted him. "But she has still you. You won't go anywhere."_

_I was probably just trying to convince myself._

"_Ashley, please."_

_I nodded, trying to hold back the tears. "Okay, I'll take care of her. I promise."_

_-------_

She was sitting next to me, writing something in her notebook the whole time. Of course, I was curious, but I didn't look. Not when she didn't want me to.

The whole flight she didn't look at me at all. I really don't know if I did something wrong, or why she doesn't talk to me. But on the other side, she doesn't talk to anyone. She is in her own world, writing in that mysterious notebook all the time. Just her, her iPod, and the notebook. Not her family, friends or me. Just her and those two things.

She pushed us away from her. I know, she is hurt, but why did she push all of us away? We are her friends and family, and we want to help her. But she doesn't need it; at least that's what she said.

-------

So we didn't say a single word to each other the whole flight. Not even when we got in the hotel, which was _great_, because we had a room together.

When we got in our hotel and Mrs. C showed us our room, I was pretty shocked. The room only had one big bed. And even though I loved Spencer, I didn't want to be with her in one bed when she was like that.

"Umm…uh…there's just one bed," I said shyly.

"Yeah, I know, Ashley. They didn't have a free room with two beds left," replied Spencer's mom. She added, "Hope you don't mind."

I glanced over Spencer, who wasn't interested at all. She was standing by the window and looking outside.

"No…no, of course not." I smiled at Paula.

"Okay, take a rest girls, we have a hard day tomorrow," she said and walked out of the room, leaving me alone with Spencer.

_Yeah, the funeral is tomorrow._

I sat down on the bed and looked at Spencer again. She was still standing there, her back to me.

"Umm…Spencer?"

She slowly turned around and looked at me with a blank expression on her face.

"Do you want something, aren't you hungry or something…?" I asked shyly.

"No, thanks," she replied and stretched out on the bed, turned on her iPod, and closed her eyes.

I sighed. _It looks like she's not going to talk again._

Someone knocked on the door and when I opened it, I saw Glen standing there in his swim trunks.

"I just wanted to ask you if you want to go to the pool with me?"

I turned around to ask Spencer, but her closed eyes gave me the answer. I turned back to Glen.

"Yeah, sure. Just give me a couple of minutes."

"Okay, the pool is on the first floor, I'll wait there," he said. With that, he left.

I grabbed my swimsuit from my bag and quickly changed in the bathroom. Spencer seemed to be asleep already and I didn't want to wake her up, so I just wrote a note to let her know where I'd be and left the room.

-------

I had fun with Glen in the pool but in my mind, I was still with someone else. When I got back, Spencer was still sleeping, her notebook next to her.

I didn't want to, I really didn't want to read her private thoughts, but my curiosity was stronger than my conscience.

I slowly took the notebook, hoping she wouldn't wake up, and sat down on the chair next to the window. When I opened it, a picture fell out. I looked at it and smiled. It was Spencer at age ten or so with a dark-haired guy close to the same age. Alex.

They were smiling at each other, their noses touching. They both looked so innocent and happy. And now…

I set the photo aside and took the notebook. Every page was covered with poems. I didn't know Spencer wrote.

I started reading the first poem I saw.

_I wish this could be  
a happy song  
But my happiness disappeared   
the moment you were gone  
Don't think I ever believed that   
this day would come  
Now all I'm feeling  
is lost and numb_

And I know I promised  
that I would try

But I, yes I, miss you  
and it's killing inside

I'll always be thankful  
for the time we had  
We were blessed  
I should celebrate  
but I feel too sad  
All the wonderful memories  
just make me fall apart  
And it feels like somebody's  
stabbed me in my heart

And I know I promised  
that I wouldn't cry

But I, yes I, miss you  
and it's killing inside  
Well I, yes I, miss you  
want you by my side

Walking, holding hands  
Talking, making plans  
Touching my heart, my soul

Tell me it's not happening  
Say it's not as it seems  
Tell me that I'm gonna wake up  
It's just a bad dream  
Please tell me that it's fiction  
Tell me it's just a lie  
Whatever you choose to tell me  
Please say he didn't die

"What are you doing with that?" I heard an angry voice behind me.

I quickly stood up from the chair, wiping the tears that had already formed in my eyes and saw Spencer angrily standing in front of me.

"I…I can explain," I tried.

"Explain what, Ashley? That you stole my notebook and read my personal thoughts?"

_I think I fucked up._

"I…it's not what it looks like. I swear I didn't want to read it…"

"But you did," she cut me off, grabbing the notebook out of my hands. "This is personal, Ashley. How could you?" she hissed.

_Be smart now._

"I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have read it," I apologized, hoping she would forgive me.

"No, you shouldn't have. It's none of your business," she said, still angry.

_Okay, maybe she won't forgive me that soon._

"Look, Spencer, I just want to help you," I tried to calm her down.

She laughed. It wasn't a happy laugh, though. It was cold and sarcastic.

"Help me? Don't be ridiculous, Ashley. You can't help me. No one can. Got it?"

"Actually, no, I don't get it. Why are you like that? Why are you pushing away the people who love you?"

"I don't care about them. I don't care about anyone," she spat out, her voice full of the pain she was trying to hide.

"You don't mean it, Spencer. You know you don't."

She glared at me, her eyes cold. "I do mean it."

I stood closer to her. "No, you don't," I told her with a soft voice.

"I do."

I stood even closer, so now we were just a few inches apart. "No, you don't."

I placed my hands on her hips. "Don't touch me!" she hissed, and tried to pull away, but I was stronger. I placed my hands around her waist and hugged her. She tried to fight with me, screaming to let her go, but I didn't. I couldn't.

After a while, she finally gave in and returned the hug. She squeezed me with all her strength and I felt something wet on my shoulder. I knew she was crying. And I knew she needed it. So I just held her, letting her cry on my shoulder.

-----

After a couple of minutes, we pulled away, but we were still standing very close to each other. I tucked a few strands of her hair behind the ear and even though I wasn't looking her in the eye, I knew she was. I felt it.

I finally let my eyes meet hers and what I saw left me breathless. She was looking at me with a fixed stare, her eyes filled with something I haven't seen before.

It wasn't fury, not even pain.

It was passion.

This time I was sure. Very slowly, I leaned in and stopped just a few inches from her lips to give her time to change her mind. She didn't move.

Instead, she stared at my lips and licked hers.

_Yeah, this time I was sure._

I finally moved and softly touched her full, inviting lips. Just one touch of the lips, nothing more, but I melted. I'd never kissed such soft lips.

Not until now.

We pulled away a little, just to see each other in the eyes. She smiled at me through her tearful eyes and placed her hands around my neck to pull me closer to her.

Then our lips met for the second time. But this time it wasn't just a touch of lips. It was something more; it was the touch of two souls.

Maybe that sounds cliché, but I felt like that.

I grabbed her by the hips, pulling her even closer, while she had her hands still around my neck, softly caressing it.

I felt her tongue touch my bottom lip, asking for entrance. I slowly opened my mouth to let her in and when I felt her tongue touching mine for the first time, I moaned.

But it wasn't just me. She moaned into my mouth, which made me smile into the kiss.

Our tongues danced together while our hands were wandering along our bodies, exploring each other. It was the best feeling in the world, to be finally able to touch her, feel her, kiss her.

I didn't want it to be over, ever; but I knew I had to pull away, desperate for breath. We slowly pulled apart and smiled at each other.

The words weren't needed.

That kiss said everything.


	20. Promise

_Author's note: Geez, thanks for all the feedbacks, I love them sooo much, you have no idea. So, keep them going, pwease?_

_And I'm really glad you all liked that chapter; I know, they finally kissed :)_

_Umm,,anyway,,this chapter is kinda short and blah, but I promise the next one will be just Spashley fluff._

**20. Promise**

"Spencer, are you ready?" Ashley asked me after I changed into my dark clothes and sat down on the bed.

It was the day of Alex's funeral. I never thought I would have to go on his funeral. Ever. But that day came and it came too soon. So yeah, honestly, I wasn't ready. Not now, not ever.

I sadly glanced over at her. "No, I'm not."

She walked towards me, sitting down next to me. "You don't have to go if you don't want to," she said softly, placing her hand on top of mine.

"I want to say goodbye, I really do, but…," I sighed in frustration and looked at her, seeing her face full of sympathy. "It's just hard."

She sadly smiled and pulled me closer to her, stroking my back. "I know, babe. But you'll make it. I promise you will."

_Babe? Since when does she call me "babe"? But I like the sound of that._

I looked at her again and leaned in, wanting to feel her lips on mine again when someone knocked on the door.

I smiled apologetically and she nodded in understanding as she went to open the door. My dad stood there in his best suit.

"Are you girls ready?" He glanced at me and I stood up, following him along with Ashley.

-----

After a couple of minutes of driving, we arrived at the cemetery and I saw many people already standing there, waiting. We all got out of the car and approached them. I spotted Alex's parents with his sister and a strange girl.

_Who is that?_

My parents and Glen walked toward them, giving their condolences, but suddenly, I stopped walking.

_I can't do this._

Ashley stopped moving too and looked at me, knowing I wasn't feeling that strong. She offered me her hand and I slowly took it into mine, intertwining our fingers.

"Spencer!" I heard someone screaming.

I glanced around to see who it was. It was Alex's 10-year-old sister, Zoe, running toward me. She jumped in my arms, holding me tightly.

_Zoe._ His little sister, his little love. Alex loved Zoe with all his heart; she was his little sunshine, as he used to call her. Now she'd lost her big brother, a brother she loved so much.

I held her tightly while she was crying. Then I pulled away and kneeled down, wiping the tears of her soft little cheek.

"He…he died, Spencer," she managed between sobs.

"I know, honey. I know."

"I…I didn't even tell him…goodbye. I miss him so much, Spencer."

I caressed her long blond hair and pulled her into a hug again, glancing over at Ashley, who was standing next to us.

When we pulled away, I took Zoe's hand in mine and approached her parents to give my condolences. I looked at the girl standing next to them, confused.

_I've never seen her before._

"Who is that?" I whispered in Zoe's ear.

"Alex's girlfriend," she replied quietly.

_Huh?_

"You're Spencer, right?" The blond girl approached me.

"Uh…yeah and you are…?"

"Olivia. Alex's…"

I cut her off. "Girlfriend, I know." She looked at me, confused.

"Did he tell you?"

"No, actually, he didn't. But I guess he told you about me, since you know my name."

She nodded. "Yeah, he told me a lot about you."

I frowned. "Well, that's interesting, because he didn't say a word about you."

_If you're wondering why I was so mean; to tell the truth, I don't know. Maybe I just felt hurt that he didn't tell me about the cancer and about her either._

She didn't have a chance to reply, because the funeral officially started and I sat down next to Ashley, who was holding my hand.

I wasn't really paying attention when the reverend talked about Alex because he didn't even know him.

I did.

But when I heard my name, I sat up. The reverend wanted me to say a couple of words about Alex.

_What? Me?_

I felt a gentle squeeze of my hand and I glanced over Ashley. She was smiling at me.

I stood up and went to the reverend.

"I…uh…"

_I've never really been good at this._

"I don't really know what to say in a moment like this. Alex was…" I paused for a second and continued, "well, he was the best friend a girl like me could have. He was my strong tower when I was down, a shoulder when I cried, and my sun when I was happy. For people that didn't know him, he was just an ordinary boy next door. But for a few of them who really knew him, he was something special. Alex was the most caring and loving person I've known. He was a loving son, brother…friend. He was the best friend I could wish for."

I stopped for a while, trying to hold back the tears already appearing in my eyes. Then I looked up at the sky.

"I miss you, Alex. I miss you so much and all I want is to bring you back. I won't forget you, I promise. And one day we will meet again, I swear."

With that, I stopped talking, tears streaming down my face as I sat back down next to Ashley. She was stroking my back, trying to soothe me.

-----

After the funeral, we got back to the hotel and all I wanted was go to sleep. Sleep and not think about _him._

"You need some sleep, Spencer," said Ashley as we got to our room.

"We are leaving early tomorrow," she added.

I nodded. "I know. I'm gonna take a shower and then go sleep."

-----

When I got back of the shower, I saw Ashley already sleeping on the bed.

_I guess she was more tired than I was._

I laid down next to her, watching her while she was sleeping, unable to tear my eyes away from her face.

_She is so beautiful. And she is mine._


	21. Speechless

_Author's note: It's official, I love you guys. I really do. And I think you all deserve some fluff after that drama with Alex._

_The song is by The Veronicas – Speechless._

_popprincess102__: It's hard to say how long does it to take me. Depends on how lazy I am :)_

**21. Speechless**

We came home from Ohio three days ago and my life since then had changed completely. I wasn't just some loser anymore.

I was Spencer's loser.

Our relationship was still very fragile, though. Almost no one knew about us, because Spencer was scared to tell them, especially her brother. She didn't know how would he react, so she needed time. But I understood, being in a relationship with a girl was new for her.

Actually, being in any kind of relationship was completely new for her. I found it incredibly cute and innocent. _She_ herself was innocent and cute, and that's what I loved about her so much.

There she is. Walking towards me, her eyes already fixed on me. She has still this sad look on her face, the look of pain.

I know she hurts. It's not easy to lose someone you loved. I know it very well, because my dad died too. It was the most horrible event of my life and I've never forgotten about him. And never will.

"Hey." I smiled when she sat down next to me.

God, I wanted to kiss her right there, but I knew I couldn't. Not in front of so many people.

"Hey," she replied, leaned in, and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

_But I need more._

"Where is everyone?" She asked, looking around.

I shrugged. "I don't know. Kyla is probably with Glen somewhere and Aiden with his boyfriend."

_Oh, yeah I forgot. Aiden got a boyfriend finally. It was about time._

"So we are all alone?" she asked and smirked.

"Yeah, all alone, except..." I glanced around, "like a hundred other people."

She sighed. "Do you think we will be alone one day?"

See, that's the thing. We hadn't been alone since the day we came back from Ohio. There was always someone with us; if not our friends, then Amy or…just someone.

"I don't know, Spencer."

Then it hit me and I grinned.

"Why are you grinning?" she asked curiously.

"I have a plan!" I told her, excited, and she raised her eyebrow.

"Tomorrow is Saturday, right? Today my mom finally comes home, so she can look after Amy when we're away."

"Away?"

"Yeah, away," I repeated. "We are going on a real date."

"Are we?" she asked in this cute, childish way.

I nodded resolutely. _I need to be with her alone finally. God knows I need it._

Two days passed quickly and there I was, standing in my living room, completely nervous about the night ahead.

"Mommy looks pretty," my daughter said, glancing at me from Kyla's hands.

"Yeah, Mommy really does look pretty," Kyla agreed.

I smiled, still nervous. "Thanks girls."

"Don't be nervous, Ash. It's just Spencer," she tried to calm me down.

"Mommy goes out with Spency?" Amy asked.

I leaned in and kissed her on the forehead. "Yeah, baby, I'm going out with Spency. You will be home with granny, okay?"

She nodded.

"Where is mom, anyway?" I asked, not seeing her around.

"She went to buy ice cream," Kyla smirked.

_Yeah, that's my mom. She would die without ice cream. Not kidding._

"Are you going out with Glen?"

Kyla nodded. "Yeah, we are going to Gray. Aren't you guys coming too?"

I shook my head. "No. I have other plans for us."

I kissed both on the cheeks, checked myself in the mirror for the last time, grabbed my guitar, and left to pick up Spencer.

Now you're probably curious why I needed a guitar. Well, I had a surprise for Spencer, something I'd worked hard at for three days. I just hoped she would like it.

There she was, beautiful as always, walking towards the car as I waited for her inside.

"Hey." She smiled as she got in the car.

"Hey." I leaned in and gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

_I missed those lips._

"So, where are we going?" she asked as I switched on the engine.

"It's a surprise," I smirked.

"You know I don't like surprises." She pouted her face like a child.

"But this time you will like it, I promise."

After a couple of minutes, I pulled up next to the beach.

"The beach?" She glanced at me, confused.

"Yeah, the beach. But I want it to be surprise." I said. I pulled a bandana out of my pocket. "So you have to put this on."

"What? No, I'm not gonna take this," she protested.

I gave her my best puppy dog eyes. "Please…?"

She frowned. "Okay, okay, I'll do it."

I smiled thankfully at her and wrapped the bandana around her eyes so she couldn't see anything.

I grabbed her hand and slowly led her to the beach. When we got to the right spot, I went behind her and undid the bandana, taking it away.

"Oh my god, Ashley," were her first words.

In front of us, a blanket was spread out and surrounded by candles. It looked romantic in the dark, just candles and the moonlight.

I smiled from behind, satisfied. "Like it?"

"How…how did you?"

"Aiden and Chelsea helped me."

She turned around to face me. "It's beautiful," she said, and leaned in to capture my lips with hers in a slow, loving kiss.

_This is what I missed so much. Being able to feel her lips again. _

"I missed this," I said after she pulled away.

"Missed what?"

I grinned. "Your lips."

She blushed and tucked her hair behind her ear, something she did when she was nervous.

"C'mon," I grabbed her hand and we both sat down on the blanket.

Our first date was perfect. Perfect dinner under the moonlight, just me and her, no one else. It was perfect and it wasn't over yet.

I was leaning against the rock, Spencer sitting between my legs leaning against me in a comfortable silence.

"I like this." She broke the quiet.

"What?" I asked curiously.

"Just…this. Being here, with you in your arms, forgetting everything. I don't want it to be over." She snuggled closer to me.

I kissed her on her bare shoulder. "It's not over yet. I have another surprise for you."

She turned her blond head to look me in the eyes. "Another?"

I smiled. "Yeah," I replied. "Just stay here, I'll be right back," I said, and she stood up, completely confused when I left her alone there, going for my guitar.

When I came back with a guitar in my hand, she looked even more confused.

"Just sit down," I ordered and climbed on top of the rock, mentally preparing for what came next.

"I…uh…I hope you'll like it," I muttered, taking the guitar in my hands.

I fixed my eyes with hers when I started to sing the first words of a song I'd been writing for a couple of days.

_Feels like I have always known you  
And I swear I dreamt about you  
All those endless nights I was alone  
It's like I've spent forever searching  
Now I know that it was worth it  
With you it feels like I am finally home_

I broke the eye contact for a second and gazed at the moonlight.

_Falling head over heels  
Thought I knew how it feels  
But with you it's like the first day of my life_

I stopped for a few seconds while my stare returned to her ocean blue eyes, trying to remember this moment.

_Cuz you leave me speechless  
When you talk to me  
You leave me breathless  
The way you look at me  
You manage to disarm me  
My soul is shining through  
Can't help but surrender  
My everything to you_

_I thought I could resist you  
I thought that I was strong  
Somehow you were different from what I've known  
I didn't see you coming  
You took me by surprise and  
You stole my heart before I could say no_

_Falling head over heels  
Thought I knew how it feels  
But with you it's like the first day of my life_

She knew. I'm sure she knew that I meant every single word of the song.

_You leave me speechless  
When you talk to me  
You leave me breathless  
The way you look at me  
You manage to disarm me  
My soul is shining through  
I can't help but surrender  
Oh no  
My everything to you_

_You leave me speechless  
The way you smile, the way you touch my face  
You leave me breathless  
It's something that you do I can't explain  
I run a million miles just to hear you say my name  
Baby_

_You leave me speechless  
You leave me breathless  
The way you look at me  
You manage to disarm me  
My soul is shining through  
I can't help but surrender  
My everything to you_

I finished, laid the guitar aside, and nervously glanced at Spencer. She didn't say anything and it kind of scared me. I climbed down off the rock and sat in the front of her. She still didn't say anything.

_She didn't like it. Oh God, she didn't like it._

When I wanted to say something to break the silence, I didn't have a chance. _She_ didn't give me a chance as she grabbed me by the neck and crushed our lips together.

_Or maybe she did like it._

It was slow, tender kiss at first, but when I felt her tongue licking my bottom lip, begging for entrance, it started getting heated. I moaned as I felt her tongue slowly slip inside my mouth to gently touch my own.

I buried my hands in her soft hair, trying to pull her closer to me, wanting to feel her pressed against me. I slowly laid her down on the blanket and placed myself on top of her.

We'd never been so close. And God, it felt so good to feel her shivering body beneath me, to kiss those delicious lips. I was in heaven.

But I wanted more.

I needed more.

I moved my lips from hers to kiss her chin and looked her in the eye. She had them closed, but I wanted her to look at me. When she didn't feel my lips on her anymore, she slowly opened them, confused. I smiled at her, unable to say a word.

Her beauty in the moonlight left me speechless again.

_I love her. I know I do._

I just stared at her for a while, doing nothing. She blushed, suddenly feeling uncomfortable when I couldn't take my eyes off her.

"You're beautiful," I finally managed to whisper.

She blushed even more and wanted to say something, but I didn't let her as I kissed her again; slowly, gently, lovingly. I wanted her to know how I felt in that kiss. No words, just a kiss.

I tore my lips away from hers and slowly started tracing my way down to her chin and I stopped on her delicate neck, placing a kiss there. When I felt her shiver, I smiled and stayed there, kissing, nibbling, sucking.

Then I heard her moaning and felt her hands buried in my hair; I knew I was doing the right thing.

I let my hands slip under her shirt, gently caressing her stomach. She jerked, feeling my touch on her naked skin, but didn't protest.

I wanted more.

But I knew it was too soon.

I didn't go further. I just lay there on top of her, kissing her and letting my hands wander along her body.

_It's not time yet. I will wait until that day comes._


	22. Surprise

_Author's note: Hey guys. I'm sorry it took so long, but days were pretty busy. But I'm back and here is another update. _

_Enjoy._

_suspenceme__: I've never noticed it, haha. Until you told me._

**22. Surprise**

It's official. Last night was the best night of my life. Last night it was just me and Ashley. Nothing else mattered.

When she sang the song she wrote _just_ for me, I was speechless, not knowing what to say. I hope she knew how much it meant for me, even though I didn't use words.

But you know, sometimes words aren't needed. Sometimes touch is more than words. And I did it. I used touch instead. A touch of my lips, a touch full of love.

We'd only been officially together for a week, but I was falling hard. She was the one I dreamt about every single night, she was the one I couldn't stop thinking of, she was the one whose touch I craved, she was the one who already had my heart. And I couldn't do anything to stop it.

I decided to tell Glen about us, even though I was afraid. I was scared of what he would think, if he would accept it, accept us. I knew he liked Ashley, but I was not sure if he would like her after I told him. He had nothing against gay people, that one thing I know for sure, because he knew about Aiden and they were still best friends.

But I'm his little sister. And finding out that his little sister was in love with a girl…well, that was probably not how he imagined my life.

It was Saturday and I was supposed to go to Ashley's. We wanted to have a peaceful night, just Amy and us. She still didn't know anything about us. It's quite hard to explain something like that when she is just two years old. But we decided to tell her tonight anyway.

"Are you going to Gray tonight?"

I was sitting in the living room, watching TV, when Glen entered the room and sat down next to me.

"No, we're just staying at Ashley's place," I replied, not tearing my eyes away from the TV.

"You two are pretty close, huh?"

I finally let my stare move to him and was met with suspicious blue eyes.

"Yeah. So…?"

"Nothing." His eyes changed from suspicious to sympathetic. "I'm glad you have someone, after…"

"Stop it," I cut him off. "Just…stop."

He obviously wanted to talk about Alex, but I still couldn't talk about him. Not with him, not with anyone. Not even with Ashley. It just hurt.

"Spencer, you have to talk about that with someone. You can't keep it all to yourself."

I frowned. "Why not?"

"Because it'll drive you crazy."

I bought my gaze back to the TV, letting him know that our talk was over. He sighed, obviously giving up as he left the room.

Then he peeked in again.

"What?" I snapped, already irritated.

"When are you leaving?"

"7 pm, why?"

"I'll give you a ride," he said before he left again.

_God, I just hope he leaves me alone._

My prayer had been heard, because he didn't ask any stupid questions anymore. He pulled up in the Davies driveway and I jumped out of the car, hurrying to see my girlfriend again.

I rang the bell, waiting for someone to open the door, when Glen caught up with me.

"God, you're fast." He frowned and I just gave him sly smile.

"Spenceyyy!" The door opened and Kyla, Amy in her arms, was standing there.

"Hey, baby." I kissed her on the forehead and took her from Kyla.

"Hey guys," Ky greeted us, giving Glen a quick peck on the lips.

"Where's Ashley?" I asked, wanting to see her as soon as possible.

"In her room."

"Gleeeen!" Amy shrieked again, obviously just noticing my brother.

"Hey, beautiful. What's up?" I gave her to him, rushing upstairs to see Ashley.

Don't get me wrong; I love Amy. But I knew we would spend the whole evening with her and I needed to be with her mother alone at least for a few minutes.

I didn't knock. Instead, I opened the door slowly and peeked in. She was standing in front of the window, drying her hair with a towel with her back to me, so she didn't see me.

She wasn't dressed yet, she had just a white towel around her perfect body. I quietly stepped in the room and closed the door behind me. She still didn't see me, so I slowly approached her, slipping my hands around her waist.

She froze for a second, but relaxed when I gave her a soft kiss on her bare shoulder.

"Hey, baby," she said. I couldn't see her face, but I knew she was smiling.

"I missed you," I murmured as I moved my lips on her neck, leaving soft kisses.

"How much?" she asked coyly.

"Let me show you," I answered with a husky voice and turned her around so we were facing each other.

Then it happened. This time it wasn't Ashley who was completely speechless. It was me when I saw her without any make up, her hair wet and messy around her beautiful face. She looked more beautiful than ever.

Then I looked her in the eyes and I couldn't even breathe. They were so dark like never before, except for maybe last night.

I couldn't stop watching her as my eyes were tracing their way along her face, exploring her. She blushed and tilted her head down, but I placed my hand under her chin and slowly lifted her face, wanting to see her eyes.

The only thing I wanted to say in that moment was simply, "I love you". But I couldn't, not yet. I wasn't ready for those words.

So instead, I placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, then her nose, before I finally touched her lips. I let mine linger on hers, unmoving, while I softly caressed her wet hair.

I think she wanted more, because she grabbed my hips, pulling me closer to her. She moved her lips so we were kissing, exploring each other's mouths.

Not gently and slowly, but passionately and hard.

When I'm with her, I forget about everything and everyone. This time it was no different; I quickly forgot about people being in the same house, being able to catch us at any minute.

I just didn't care. All I cared about in that moment was Ashley and her lips.

So, when she started moving us towards the bed, I didn't protest. I mean, how could I?

I sat down on her bed and she quickly straddled me, not waiting for anything as she attacked my lips with hers again. My hands were around her waist, pulling her as close to me as possible, feeling her wet, almost naked body on mine.

I heard the door open, but I still didn't care.

"Oh my God."

Now I cared.


	23. Those Nights

_Author's note: Oookay, the waiting is over. Are you guys happy? Haha. Anyway, it's funny how most of you think it's Kyla who interrupted them. Hope you won't be disappointed :p_

_Enjoy._

**23. Those Nights**

"Oh my God."

I quickly jumped down off of Spencer and we both turned around to see one very surprised blond guy. He just stood there staring at us in complete shock, unmoving and mouth wide open.

_I guess he didn't expect this._

"Umm…uh…" I was trying to say something, but it didn't work somehow.

"Oh my God," he repeated.

I looked desperately at Spencer, who was standing next to me, still flushed from our little make out session and obviously not trying to help me.

"Look Glen…" I started, but he cut me off.

"You fucked my sister!"

_What?! I didn't! Yet._

"No, she didn't."

We both looked at Spencer, surprised when she finally said something.

"She didn't fuck me, Glen," she said, staring at her brother.

"No? But…," he started walking around the room, trying to formulate words, "but…I saw you!"

"I wanted to tell you," Spencer muttered, looking on the floor.

"Tell me what?"

"That I lo…like her. And that we're together."

_Wait a minute. Did she just almost say she loves me?_

Glen finally stopped walking around the bedroom. "So why didn't you?" He didn't sound disgusted, or even angry anymore. All I heard in his voice was hurt.

It was time for me to say goodbye. "Umm…I'll leave you guys alone," I mumbled and tried to leave the room, but Spencer stopped me when she grabbed my hand.

"Stay," she whispered and I just nodded.

_What else could I do?_

All of us sat down on my bed, Spencer in the middle. "I was just scared, Glen," she admitted.

He glanced at her, surprised. "Scared? Of what?"

"Of everything. I was scared that you would hate me, or hate Ashley, or both of us."

He took her hand into his own. "I could never hate you, Spencer. You're my little sister and I love you no matter what. I don't care if you're bi, gay, straight, whatever. I'm just sad you didn't tell me sooner."

"I'm sorry."

He hugged Spencer around her shoulders, embraced her, and kissed her on the forehead. It was such a cute moment between those two.

"Now, can you please leave so I can talk with Ashley alone?" he said after they pulled away.

_What? Me? Oh no…_

Spencer glared at him distrustfully. "Why?"

"I just want to talk to her."

"About what?"

He smirked at her. "That's between us."

_Uh huh…_

Spencer turned to me and smiled apologetically as she stood up and left the room.

I was still sitting in my towel not moving, with Glen next to me. Honestly, I didn't feel very comfortable.

"So, Ashley…," he started, his voice serious.

"Yeah?" My voice quavered with uncertainty.

"You and my sister, huh?"

"Uh huh."

Then he changed the sound of his voice. "I'm glad it's you," he said softly.

_What?_

I glanced at him, not knowing what to think.

"You know, it could have been some stupid guy who would only want one thing from her."

_Oh geez, please don't start talking about sex._

"And I hope you're not like that," he added, raising his eyebrow and I quickly shook my head.

He nodded. "Good." He stood up off the bed and before he opened the door, he turned to me for the last time. "And Ashley?"

I looked up at him.

"Don't break her heart, otherwise I'll haunt you for the rest of your life." With that, he left with a smirk on his face and Spencer came back.

"I hope he didn't tell you something bad," she said with a concerned face as she sat down next to me.

I just smiled. "No, don't worry. Your brother is a great guy."

She returned the smile and placed her hand on top of mine. "I know."

-----

We were lying in a comfortable silence on the couch, watching some trashy romantic movie while Amy was in front of us, playing. I was lying on my back with Spencer on top of me in my arms. Kyla and Glen had already left, so we were all alone. Just the three of us.

We decided to tell Amy about us tonight. I didn't really know how she'd react, cause for real, she was just 2 years old; well okay, almost 3. Still, how could I explain to my 2-year-old daughter that I was dating with her babysitter? Who happened to be a _girl?_

The movie ended and I glanced down at Spencer; she had her head on my chest. She probably felt my stare, because she lifted her head up to meet my eyes.

I didn't say anything. I didn't have to.

This is another thing I love about her. I don't have to say anything, but she knows. She always knows everything, even if I don't use words.

This time it was not different. We stared in each other's eyes and she slowly nodded. It was time.

I looked at Amy. She looked pleased, sitting on the floor and playing with her toys. Spencer sat up and I followed suit.

"Amy?"

She immediately lifted her little dark head up, looking at us with big blue eyes.

"Come here, baby," I said and she quickly stood up, jumping into my lap. Or, she tried to jump.

"I…_we_ have to tell you something," I started, looking into her curious eyes.

"I…uh…we…" I really tried to say something, but all I could do was stutter.

"Look, baby…"

_Spencer, my savior._

Amy moved her big curious eyes from me to Spencer.

"You know that I like your mommy very much, right?" Amy nodded.

"And your mommy likes me as well. You know how auntie Kyla likes Glen, right?"

My daughter did a cute grimace. "Yeaaah, they kiss on the mouth." She made a disgusted face.

"Uh…well, yeah. Your mommy and I…well…uh…I like her just like aunt Kyla likes Glen."

Amy looked back at me, then at Spencer, and back to me.

"You kiss Spency?" I nodded. "On the mouth?" I nodded again.

"Ewww." She made another grimace and then all of a sudden she wrapped her little arms around my neck to hug me.

I wasn't expecting that. I mean, I knew that she would be hella disgusted, when we mentioned kisses, because she makes faces all the time when she sees Kyla and Glen kissing.

However, I sure wasn't expecting that after her grimaces, she'd just hug Spencer and me, say "mkay," and go back to her toys, satisfied with her.

-----

For the rest of the evening we just enjoyed each other's company, watching another romantic trashy movie or playing with Amy.

When Kyla and Glen came back home and it was time to say goodbye, Amy was already asleep. Glen took her in his arms into her bedroom, together with Kyla, so I had a few minutes with Spencer all alone.

We were standing awkwardly in the hallway, waiting for Glen. Neither of us knew what to say.

"I…uh…I had fun tonight," she finally broke the silence and shyly smiled.

"Me too."

She stirred a little, looking down on the floor, apparently finding it very interesting.

"Umm…you know…my parents won't be home next weekend and Glen is going somewhere with Aiden, so I was thinking…." she stopped and shyly glanced at me.

"Maybe…if you want to…I mean, you don't have to…but…"

Even though I love her rambling, I wanted to know where this was going, so I had to stop her.

"Spencer?"

She stopped her ramble.

"Doyouwanttospendthenextweekendatmyplace?" she burst out.

_Ooookay…?_

"Umm…if I heard right, you want to spend the next weekend with me, all alone at your place?" I wanted to make sure.

She blushed and nodded.

"I would love to," I gave her my best smile.

"Come here," I said and she walked towards me, hugging me; we both enjoyed the warmth of our bodies.

After a couple seconds, we pulled apart a little, just to look in each other's eyes and I slowly leaned in, capturing her lips with my own.

_I love her lips. And I love kissing those full, soft and delicious lips. _

We both forgot immediately about everything and everyone, it was just me and Spencer.

Well, until Glen burst into the hallway, interrupting us…_again._

"Oh my God, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to," he apologized.

Spencer frowned. "It's okay. We can go."

I smiled at her and leaned in again, giving her a quick peck on the lips before they left.

I leaned against the door and sighed.

_Next weekend should be fun._


	24. The Bet

_Authors note: Hey. I'm back :) Missed me? _

_So, thanks for all the feedbacks, I loooove them. I'm happy you all like Amy, cause I like her too :) Anyway, here is the next chapter._

_Enjoy._

**24. The Bet**

Monday, another day in the paradise called King High School.

_Or should I say another boring day?_

And today was especially boring, because Ashley wasn't here. She had to stay home with Amy, 'cause nobody else could. So here I am, sitting at the table with the rest of group, which happened to be two pairs of love birds.

Aiden, with his boyfriend Trevor, and Glen with Kyla. And me. All alone, without my girlfriend.

I sighed, frustrated.

"Spencer, what's wrong?" Aiden asked, watchfully.

"Nothing, I'm fine," I replied, not wanting to ruin their moods.

"She misses Ashley," Kyla told him and I glared at her.

"What? It's true." She defended herself and grinned.

"Whatever."

_Was I being mean? Maybe._

"You two are like obsessed with each other," Aiden added.

I immediately glared at him, when I heard another voice.

"Yeah, it's true. You can't be without each other even for one single day."

"Gleeeen, you're my brother, you are supposed to be on my side," I squealed, slapping him in the shoulder.

"Sorry, sis, but we're right."

"No, you're not."

"We are."

"You're not."

"God, people, calm down. You should bet or something." 

As Trevor spoke those last words, I saw familiar little sparks in Glen's blue eyes.

_Oh no._

"Glen…" I started, but he quickly cut me off.

"I want to bet."

I resolutely shook my head, knowing it wouldn't be the best idea. My brother _loved_ bets and he would do anything to win.

"No."

"Come on, Spence. It's just for a week."

_Huh?_

"What are you talking about?"

He grinned, apparently very happy about Trevor's idea, unlike me.

"I want you to not see Ashley for a week."

_Excuse me?_

Then Kyla cleared her throat. "Glen, baby, I think that is too much."

I shook my head. "Forget it, Glen."

"Mhmm, but if you win you will get something you'll like _a lot_," he smirked at me.

My inner voice tried to tell me it was not a good idea and I should just forget it. However, on the other hand, my desire to win was telling me to go for it.

"What?"

His smile got wider. "If you win, I'll get our parents out of the house for the whole weekend, so you can be with Ashley all alone."

I frowned. "Glen, they're going away anyway."

"They didn't tell you? They changed their plans. They're not going to grandma's."

_Okay, this sucks._

"What? Why not? But I told Ashley…Ughhh." I looked at my brother again, distrustfully. "If I lose?"

He slyly smiled. "You do anything I want."

"Like what?"

He smiled even more slyly. "You'll see."

_Should I? Or should I not? God, why does he have to be such a jerk?! _

I lifted my head up to look him straight in the eyes.

"Deal," I said, and held out my hand. He accepted it immediately with a triumphant smile on his face.

"You're gonna lose, Glen."

Then Kyla spoke. "Wait a minute. You're not allowed to see Ashley, but you both go to the same school."

_Yeah, that's right._

We all glanced at Glen. "You're not allowed to speak to her at school. At all."

_This will be hard._

Then another voice spoke. "Umm…" We turned to Aiden.

"I think Ashley won't be happy about this bet," he proclaimed.

_Oh my God, Ashley._

-----

"_You did what?! You can't be serious, Spencer. How could you do this?"_

And now I think this whole thing wasn't such a great idea. I decided to call Ashley and went to lay down under _my _tree, hoping she wouldn't react badly.

Wrong.

"Ashley, listen to me. It will be just for a week. And besides, we are allowed to call each other…"

She cut me off. _"Great, so I guess I should be happy then, right?"_ she asked sarcastically.

"Ash, please, don't be mad." I used my best sad voice.

Silence.

"Ashley?"

Still silence.

"Ashley? Baby, I'm sorry. If I could I would take it back, but I can't. Ashley, please talk to me."

I heard a heavy sigh on the other line. _"Okay."_

"Okay?" I asked confused.

"_Okay, I can deal with it. But after this week you own me an incredible weekend I won't forget about."_

I swallowed.

"Uh huh. Anything you want."

I heard her chuckle. _"Oh, trust me, I want everything."_

I swallowed harder.

"Uh huh."

She chuckled even more. _"Calm down, Spence, you know I would never do anything you didn't want to."_

"Yeah, I know."

-----

After the call, I returned to my friends.

"How did she take it?" Aiden asked, curiously.

"Good, I guess. It wasn't that bad," I replied, awkwardly standing in front of him.

I glanced at him. "Umm…Aiden, can I talk to you for a second?"

I saw surprised glances coming from my friends. "Alone."

He nodded, also with a surprised look on his face, and I led him back to my tree. We sat down under it.

"What did you want to talk about?" He asked, fixing his dark eyes on me.

I stirred a little, suddenly feeling uncomfortable.

"You're Ashley's best friend, right?" He nodded and I continued.

"That means you know her the best…"

He tilted his down on the side. "Yeah?"

"Umm…yeah, so you know about our weekend, right?"

He nodded, still looking at me with curious eyes.

"Umm…I just wanted to know…you think…uh…" All I could do was stutter, and Aiden placed his big hand on my own.

"Spencer, calm down. Don't be nervous, it's just me." He tried to soothe me with a soft voice.

I breathed out. "Do you think she would want something…you know…"

Then he started laughing.

"Why are you laughing?"

"Geez, Spencer, you're so cute when you're nervous, do you know that?"

I blushed. "Uh…"

"You mean will she want to have sex with you?"

I blushed even more.

"I take that as a yes." He scratched his head. "I don't know, Spence. Honestly, I really don't. But what I know is that Ashley would never do anything you didn't want to."

I sighed. "I know, she already told me that, but I'm scared anyway."

"Of what? Look, if you don't want it, don't do it."

"That's the thing. I do want it, but…"

"You're still a virgin?" He finished instead of me.

I frowned. "How do you know?"

He grinned. "I figured it out."

I squirmed a little, feeling uncomfortable talking to him about those things. Things I'm not talking about with anybody.

"Yeah, so I'm a virgin. And Ashley is apparently very experienced."

"So?"

I looked at him as if he was stupid. "So? Aiden, she has _a lot_ of experience and I have nothing!"

His stare softened. "Spence, but you're special for her. Don't you get it? She cares about you and I think you shouldn't be worried about her past. This time it's just you and her. Nothing else matters."

I sighed. "I know, but…"

He didn't let me finish as he turned to me, pulling me into his strong arms. I leaned into his embrace.

"No 'but'. It's going to be okay. Don't be worried, okay?"

"Okay," I mumbled into his neck.

_I just hope he is right._


	25. The Call

_Author's note: Hey. Missed me much? Haha.. I didn't want to update that soon after the last chapter, but whatever. I changed my mind. Umm…this chapter is kinda short, I hope you all can forgive me that. Can you?_

_Thanks again for your wonderful comments. I truly love them. By the way, if there's something you would like to see (read), let me know. More drama? I guess not, lol, but if you want to… Just let me know, okay? Oh, I know you probably want to some smut finally and I want you to know that you can look forward to their weekend together then._

_Well, of course just when they win the bet._

_Okay, I think I stop rambling now. Enjoy._

**25. The Call**

It's Wednesday evening. Three days without talking to Spencer. Three days without touching Spencer. Three days without kissing Spencer.

Three days without being able to have anything to do with Spencer. Yes, we can call each other, but that's not the same, if you know what I mean. I'm sure you do.

I hate that stupid bet. I still don't understand how she could've agreed to something like that.

Does she miss me at all? Does she miss our small talks about everything and nothing? Does she miss our warm hugs just like I do? Does she miss our kisses? God, how I miss her lips. Those full, inviting lips of hers that taste like a strawberry.

I miss her smell. She even smells like strawberries. I miss everything about her; I miss _her._

It's official. I'm screwed.

-----

I was lying in my bed, thinking of her, of course. How it feels having her in my arms, feeling her body next to mine when she spends the night, when a phone ringing interrupted me.

_God damnit._

I didn't look at the caller ID. Instead I quickly picked up, responding with a harsh "Hello?"

I didn't mean to sound harsh, I just didn't like being interrupted while thinking of Spencer.

"_Ashley?"_

_Speaking of her…_

My voice immediately softened. "Oh, hey baby."

"_Am I interrupting something?"_ she asked with a shy voice.

_Oh, if she only knew._

"No…no. I'm sorry, I didn't know it was you."

She chuckled. _"Okay, I forgive you."_

"What's up?" I asked, as if we didn't call each other every single night.

"_Nothing, I just wanted to hear your voice."_

_Awww, isn't that sweet?_

I chuckled. "You mean my sexy husky voice?"

"_Yeah, that's exactly what I meant_," she giggled. Then she got serious. _"I miss you, Ash."_

I sighed, grabbing the pillow she gave me to smell her scent when she's not there and hugging it.

_Okay, how desperate I am?_

"I miss you too, babe. It's killing me that I can't touch you."

I heard her swallow.

"And kiss you," I continued, "Feel you."

Silence.

"Spence?"

"_Yeah, sorry, I spaced out a little,"_ she apologized.

I frowned. "I'm telling you how I miss you and you space out?"

"_No…no, I didn't mean it like that. I just…"_ she stopped.

"You what?"

"_I…uh…I…"_

_Okay, how cute is she when she's stuttering?_

"_I was imagining you kissing me."_

Now was my turn to swallow. Hard.

"Uh…"

She chuckled nervously. _"Sorry, I didn't want to make you uncomfortable."_

"No, you didn't." _Should I tell her?_

_Oh, screw that._

"You know, before you called me I was imagining the same."

"_Really?"_

"Yes," I sighed, "It's been three days, Spence. I don't think I can stand it anymore. I miss you." I frowned. "God, how I hate that stupid bet."

"_I'm sorry for that,"_ she apologized. _"But if we make it, we have the whole house to ourselves for the weekend."_

"I'm really curious how your brother wants your parents to get of the house."

She laughed. _"Yeah, well, I'm curious too. I think he still thinks he is gonna win."_

"Which he's so not," I added.

I heard someone call her name.

"_Dad needs me in the kitchen. He is cooking, you know."_

"Yeah, okay. Have fun in the kitchen."

She chuckled. _"Thanks, I will. 'Night, Ash."_

"'Night."

The phone line went dead as she hung up.

I turned over in bed and buried my head in Spencer's pillow with a heavy sigh.

_This bet is gonna be the death of me._

------

_Okay, one more thing. The next chapter will be in Aiden's POV. Don't worry, it will be Spashley anyway. But I wanted you to see their relationship from another point of view. And I think you all like Aiden, right?_

_But don't worry, I'm not planning it more than once. Following chapters will be again from Ashley's and Spencer's POV. But maybe if you'll like it…Who knows? _

_Do you think it's a good idea with Aiden? Thoughts?_


	26. Aiden

_Author's note: Guess what? Another update, lol. I'm really glad you all like my Aiden, because I like him a lot too. At least in my fic, haha. _

_So, here is the promised update with Aiden's POV. As I promised, it's Spashley anyway. I hope after this chapter you'll like Aiden even more. _

_And thanks for the feedbacks. _

_Enjoy._

**26. Aiden**

Do you sometimes have that feeling that everything is just how it should be? Well, I have that feeling right now. I mean, look at me. I'm 17 and my life is perfect. How many teenagers can say that? A lot? I don't think so.

But mine really is. I have perfect parents who actually care about me and are totally okay with the fact that I'm gay and have a daughter with my best friend. Once again, how many teenagers can say that?

I have the best friends a boy like me could imagine. I love watching them. But I don't mean it in the stalkerish way, I'm not a stalker. However, I love watching how they talk or laugh. It helps me to know them better. They don't know I'm secretly watching them. I'm sure they don't, because I'm careful. I think they don't even know how well I know them. And I don't want them to know. I mean, why would I?

I have a best friend who happens to be a girl, a girl I have a beautiful daughter with. Ashley and I have known each other for a really long time; we literally grew up together, along with Kyla. Best friends since kindergarten…what else would you expect than for us to start dating? We dated even though we weren't in love. How could we be when we both were gay? I think we dated just because everyone expected us to. My parents, Ashley's parents, everyone. So we hooked up. But if you want to know if I regret it, I don't. How could I when I have a beautiful daughter I love so much?

Amy. My love, my sun, my life. You have no idea how scared I was when Ashley told me she was pregnant. You know, we were just 15. We weren't ready to be parents. But I didn't want to be like other guys, because I wasn't one of them. I didn't want to be like my biological father who left my mom when she found out she was pregnant with me. Yeah, my big secret is out. My dad isn't my biological dad. But he is more of a father to me than my real father ever could be. I wasn't like him. I didn't want to be like him. I could never leave Ashley and our child. Not hers or mine, but _ours._

I was so happy when Amy was born. She looked like a little angel with big blue eyes and dark hair. Ashley is always telling me she looks like me and every time she tells me, I'm the happiest person in the world. Though, at first I didn't understand why she had blue eyes when Ashley has brown and I have green ones. But then I understood. My mom has blue eyes. And Amy's look just like hers, which is mom so proud of. She truly loves her only granddaughter. Just like my dad.

----

"Aiden? Aiden?" I spotted a small hand waving in front of my face.

"Huh? What?"

I saw a grin on Ashley's face. "You spaced out a little, didn't you?"

"Yeah, sorry," I smiled apologetically.

"It's okay. I was just asking you if you're coming to my place after school."

"Yeah. Amy is with your mom?"

She nodded and squirmed on the table.

"Umm…have you talked to Spencer lately?" she asked shyly.

I smiled. "Yeah, I have. Why?"

"No reason."

I put my hand on hers. "I know you miss her, but today is Thursday. Just one day left."

She frowned. "Do you know what those days are? That's…" she paused, _"a lot."_

Suddenly I noticed Spencer a couple of steps away from us, sadly looking at Ashley. She didn't see her until she followed my stare and turned around. Their eyes met, and in that moment, I knew they were madly in love with each other. I'd never seen that look on Ashley's face, that look of desperation and love at the same time.

They stared at each other for a moment, silently craving a touch, something they couldn't have. Do you wonder how I know it? I told you, I watch my friends and I know them better than they think.

After a while, Spencer finally broke the contact, turned around and left, not turning back again. In that moment, I knew I had to do something. But what?

"Ash…" I said softly, but she didn't seem to even hear me.

"Ash…" I tried again and this time she slowly turned to me, sad eyes fixed on me.

"Are you crying?" I whispered in shock, not believing my own eyes when I spotted a tear slowly streaming down her cheek. You know, Ashley wasn't one of those people who cries over every little thing.

"No, I'm not," she said, wiping off the single tear.

"You are."

"I'm not. Something fell into my eye," she tried to convince me. It didn't work.

"Yeah, sure. Look, I want to help you."

She looked at me distrustfully. "What do you mean?"

I sighed heavily. "I'm sick and tired of seeing you two being so…" I paused, searching for the right word.

"Desperate?"

Surprised, we both glanced at the person who spoke the last word instead of me.

Kyla.

She sat down next to us, looking Ashley in the eye sympathetically. "Look, Ash. I know Glen has gone too far this time. And just like Aiden said, we're sick and tired of seeing you guys so sad and desperate without each other. And I want to help you too."

Ashley was glaring at her with a confused face. "But how?"

A sly grin flashed across Kyla's face. "I'm gonna take care of Glen for a while, so he won't catch you and Spencer when you're alone."

I saw a happy smile forming on Ashley's face.

Then Kyla continued. "But I can't distract him for a long time, so Aiden will be on the watch in front of the classroom."

This time it was my turn to look at her, confused. "What classroom?"

She glanced at me as if I was stupid. "An empty classroom, of course. Ashley will drag Spencer into an empty classroom while I distract Glen and you will guard in front of the room. Got it?"

We both nodded. I mean, it wasn't that hard to understand.

"Alright. So you two go and find Spencer and an empty classroom while I go and find Glen." She stood up while we were still sitting staring at her.

"Now!"

----

"Okay, let's split up. I'm gonna find Spencer and you an empty classroom," I told Ashley on our way back to the school.

"Yeah, okay," she replied, walking away from me.

Honestly, I didn't have any idea where Spencer was. I was looking everywhere, inside and outside the school, but I still couldn't find her. I'd already lost all hope when I spotted familiar golden hair and then a familiar figure lying under the tree, listening to her iPod.

_God, why it didn't occur me sooner to look under her tree?_

I quickly approached her, sitting down next to her. She probably felt someone sitting next to her, because she opened her baby blue eyes and glanced at me. A sad smile flashed across her face as she took off the headphones.

"Hey, Aid."

"Hey. Umm…can you come with me?" I asked, already standing up.

She looked at me, confused. "Where?"

I gave her a grin. "You'll see," I hold out my hand, wanting her to grab it.

When I saw her unsure face, I added, "Trust me, you'll like it."

Her features loosened up and she grabbed my hand as I quickly stood her up, leading her back to the building. I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Ashley's number. She picked up immediately.

"Yeah?"

"I've got her. Where are you?"

I knew she smiled, even though I couldn't see her. "Room 302. I'll wait inside."

"Okay, we'll be there in a sec," I replied and hung up, immediately dialing Kyla's number.

"Hello?"

"I have Spencer. Ashley has a classroom. What about Glen?" I glanced over at Spencer, who was walking right next to me, and when she heard Ashley's name, her head quickly lifted up and she looked at me, confused. I knowingly smiled at her.

"Everything is alright. I'll call you then," she replied hurriedly and hung up. I think she was busy with…

I think I don't want to know.

"Aiden, can you please tell me what's going on?" Spencer grabbed me by the arm, stopping me from the walk.

I gave her a small smile. "I can't tell you. It's going to be a surprise."

She frowned. "I hate surprises."

I grinned, taking her hand into mine and leading her to the classroom. "This one you'll love, I promise. You can thank me later."

With those words, I opened the door of the classroom that we finally reached and pushed her inside. I closed the door, stood in front of it with a content smile on my face, happy and satisfied with my job.

_How great am I?_


	27. See You Again

_Author's note: Oookay, here is the next chapter. I know it's REALLY short and I'm sorry for that. But I promise, the next one will be much longer and…much more romantic, haha. _

_Umm…yeah, another thing. I hope you guys won't be mad or something, but after this chapter there will be just 2 more, maybe 3. I want to end this soon, but I promise, you'll like last chapters. Hahaaa. Well, let's just say you'll get what you've been waiting for :p_

_Oh yeah, __**Maxi-Luca:**__Lol, I know 2-year-old kids don't act like that. But I really have no clue how they act, so I just tried my best. I hope it doesn't bother you :)_

_**DreamsXReality:**__ They did WHAT?! Gahh, I would kill them, haha. And about your prediction, this time you'll be surprised :p_

_PS: I'm really happy you all like my Aiden, because really, he is not a bad guy in general. He is just…eh…you know…lol, whatever :D At least my Aiden is cool, haha._

_Anyway, enough rambling. Enjoy._

**27. See You Again**

"This one you'll love, I promise. You can thank me later." With those words, Aiden pushed me into the classroom, quickly closing the door after me.

_WTF?_

Then I looked in front of me and there stood Ashley in her beauty, shyly smiling at me.

_Seriously, what's going on?_

"Ashley?"

"Hey," she greeted me, still standing in the same place, motionless.

"What's going on? We shouldn't…"

"I know, I know. But I was desperate without you, so Aiden with Kyla helped us a little," she explained with a grin on her beautiful face.

I sighed. "If Glen finds out about this, everything will be ruined."

Her face got serious. "I know. That's why he can't find out."

I was still standing there, not really knowing what I should do. I mean, if Glen found out, there wouldn't be a great weekend anymore.

"Spencer?"

I lifted my head up, looking her in the eye. "Mhmm?"

"Can you kiss me now?"

A big smile spread across my face and, not waiting for her to ask me a second time, I walked toward her and grabbed her face into my hands, pulling her head closer to mine. I didn't wait for her to make the next step as I placed my lips on hers, finally tasting them. She tasted like vanilla. I felt her small hands grabbing me by the hips, pulling me as close as possible and I buried my hands in her soft hair, gently caressing it. She licked my bottom lip, quietly asking for entrance, which I gladly accepted, allowing her wet tongue to slip inside my hot mouth.

After a few moments of passionate kisses, I felt her slowly moving us toward the teacher's desk. After another moment, I felt the table behind my back and she gently lifted me up, so I could sit down on it. I spread my legs, allowing her body to stand between them, without a break between the kisses. I didn't want a break, I didn't want to pull away from her hot mouth, not even for a second.

But then she pulled away. I frowned, wanting her lips to come back, but she didn't. Instead, she tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear and whispered, while staring into my eyes, "Do you have any idea how much I missed you?"

I shyly smiled, shook my head and looked down at the floor.

"No?" she asked and I looked her in the eye again.

She smiled, slowly leaned in and kissed my forehead. "I've…" she kissed my right cheek, "missed you…" my left cheek, "so much…" my nose, "it hurt," and finally my lips. She took them hungrily as if she didn't want to pull away anymore. Then she pulled away again.

_Okay, I'm seriously frustrated. _

"Don't ever do this again, okay?" She stared right into my eyes, silently asking for an answer.

I gave her a small smile. "I won't. I love you too much."

_Oops. Was that me?_

When I saw her looking at me in shock, I suddenly didn't know what I should do, so I started doing what I know the best…

"I…uh…I mean…I didn't…uh…"

A pair of wet, hot lips silenced me from my rambling. After a second, she pulled back, cupping my face in her hands.

"I love you too."

Those four words. Just those four words were enough for me to smile at her like never before and pull her back to me, feeling the desperation of her lips on mine again.

_Wasn't this perfect?_

A soft knock on the door and Aiden's head peeking in interrupted the perfect moment. "Sorry for interrupting guys, but we better go, because Glen is coming."

Both Ashley and I sighed, frustrated by the interruption, but at the same time knowing that Glen couldn't catch us and she placed her head on my shoulder. I smiled, softly caressing her hair as I whispered, "See you on Saturday."

After hearing those words, she lifted up her head and placed her lips on mine for the last time. "I can't wait," she mumbled into the kiss.

I heard Aiden cleared his throat. "Guys?"

"I'm coming," I replied, jumping down off the table and looking at my girlfriend for the last time, before I left the classroom with Aiden.


	28. Couldn't Love You More

_A/N: Thanks for all the comments :) Here is the next chapter and I REALLY hope you'll like it._

_Enjoy._

**28. Couldn't Love You More**

Guess what today is? Yeah, exactly, today is Saturday and with the help of our beloved friends, we really won that bet. I still can't believe it. The whole weekend to ourselves. No interruptions, just me and Spencer. How great is it?

I was standing in my hallway, all ready to go, when Kyla stopped me. "Wait a minute."

I glared at her, since I was already late to Spencer's. "What? I don't have time, Ky."

"Take this," I saw her handing me a single rose. "Spencer will like it." She gave a wink.

I took the rose from her hands and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. "Thanks, sis."

"You're welcome. Have fun."

"See you on Sunday night," I replied with a smirk on my face and left.

This weekend is going to be great.

---

I was standing in front of the Carlin's door, all nervous and sweaty.

_Come on, Davies, you can do it. It_'_s just Spencer._

I took a couple of heavy breaths and finally decided to knock on the door. I heard steps inside the house and then the door opened and in the doorway stood the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. _My_ girl.

_Just play it cool._

"Hey, baby," I said, giving her a quick peck on the lips. _The rest can wait._

"Hey," she replied and blushed. _God, I love this blushing. _"Come in."

We entered the house and I gave her the rose Kyla gave me. "Aww, thanks, babe. That's so sweet." She leaned in and pecked me on the check.

I glanced around to see nobody there. "Where is everyone?" I asked, because I thought everybody would be still home.

"They already left. Parents went with Glen and Aiden." She winked.

"Haha, really? Where?" I asked curiously.

"They went camping," she chuckled.

"What? Camping? Oh my God, Aiden has never been camping," I laughed, imagining my best friend camping. Such a funny picture.

"Yeah, well, there's a first time for everything," she replied suggestively and immediately blushed.

_Oh, look at her._

"Yeah, you're right. Anyway, since nobody is around," I said, taking steps toward her, "we have the whole house to ourselves, huh?" I asked, already knowing the answer as I cupped her face in my hands.

"Well…yeah, it looks like that," she replied shyly, her eyes fixed on me.

I slowly leaned in and stopped just a few inches away from her face. "I love you," I whispered and finally captured her lips with mine in a slow but passionate kiss.

"I love you too," she tried to mumble into the kiss, but I could hear her anyway. Then she pulled away a little to look me in the eyes, "Don't ever leave me, okay?" she whispered.

"I won't, I promise," I whispered back and placed my lips on hers again. It wasn't slow this time, but hard and desperate. I wanted her to know how much I want her. And that I won't leave her. Never.

After what seemed like forever, we finally pulled apart and she took my hand into hers, intertwining our fingers, and led me to the living room.

"So, what do you want to do?" she asked as we sat down on the couch.

_You have no idea what I want to do right now._

"I dunno, maybe watch a movie?"

She seemed to be really happy about my idea, because she hurriedly stood up from the couch and moved toward the cabinet and pulled out a couple of DVDs.

"So, we got Freedom Writers, Catch and Release, I Know Who Killed Me, Juno…"

"Wait," I cut her off and she glanced at me. "I want to watch Juno."

She gave me a warm smile. "Cool. I haven't seen it yet," she replied and turned on the DVD player. Then she turned around and sat down next to me, placing her head on my shoulder.

---

"I didn't know Ellen Page was so hot," I muttered during the movie and she playfully slapped me into the shoulder.

I chuckled. "What? You know you're even hotter," I mumbled, and to prove it I gave her a wet, sloppy kiss.

"Ewww, don't kiss me like that," she squealed, wiping her mouth with the back of her small hand.

I grinned at her devilishly. "Or what?"

"Or I won't kiss you ever again," she proclaimed and moved to the other side of the couch.

"Oh really?" I slowly started leaning toward her.

"Yep." She stared at me with wide eyes.

Then all of a sudden, I tackled her, tickling her everywhere. You could say I had training thanks to my daughter.

"N…no…stop…please…" she tried to say between the tickles.

"Why should I?" I asked, giving her a sly grin.

"P…pleaseeee," she cried out.

I finally stopped and found myself somehow straddling her. I took both of her hands and placed them above her head. "Again, why should I?" I growled, staring her in the ocean blue eyes.

"Because you love me?" she asked innocently.

I chuckled. "Nice try, babe." I was ready to tickle her again.

"No, no, wait!" She stopped me before I could do something and I waited for her to say something again.

"Because I can give you something you'd like?" she mumbled and I saw her eyes darken.

"What's that?"

"Myself."

_Uh oh._

"W…what do you mean?" I asked stupidly.

"You know what I mean."

"I…uh…" I stuttered, not loosening my grasp.

"I love you, Ashley. And I want you to be my first," she whispered.

"Are you sure?" I whispered back and she just smiled.

_No words needed._

I didn't wait for her to say something as I tilted down my head and took her lips into my own again. Our lips were dancing in the most passionate kiss ever and I finally let go of her hands and let my own cup her face, while hers buried themselves in my hair. After a while, I felt her hands move from my hair to my neck and down to my back to roll up my top a little, so her hands could go under it and softly caress my bare back. I flinched a little from that feeling, but didn't pull away. I loved the feeling of her warm hands on my bare skin. I moved my body a little, so I could reach her delicate neck with my lips and linger there, kissing and biting this attractive spot on her body. I knew I was leaving marks on her, but honestly, I didn't care at all. I wanted to mark her. I wanted the whole world to know she was mine, only mine.

I heard her let out moans as I nibbled her neck and I heard her moans get louder when I moved my leg between hers, slowly rocking with it against her. I felt her nails bury deeper into my back as I sped up my tempo. And I heard her when she whispered into my ear, "Ashley, wait."

I looked at her, surprised, and stopped my movements. "Bedroom, please?" she asked, smiling from beneath me.

_Right. I don't want to do that on her couch either._

I got off her and stood up, holding out my hand. She took it with a smile on her beautiful face and led me into her bedroom. Just as we walked in and closed the door, I pushed her against it, attacking her neck with my lips again. She moaned, but managed to mutter, "Ashley." I lifted my head and glanced at her again, this time with frustrated look on my face. She smiled apologetically as she asked, "Dance with me?"

_Uh oh._

I returned the smile, "Sure," and watched her as she went to her player and put on the CD. The beautiful voice of Monica spread across the room.

"_When I first saw you I already knew, there was something inside of you…"_

I walked towards Spencer and held out my hand with a smile on my face.

"May I have this dance?" I asked.

She returned the smile. "I'd love to."

I immediately took her into my arms, holding her tightly as we started moving our bodies in the rhythm of the music. I could smell her perfume; she smelled like a strawberry. A sweet strawberry. I moved my lips to her ear as I started singing along with the song.

"_How you changed my world you'll never know. I'm different now, you helped me grow,"_ I was singing and slightly touching her ear with my lips. _"When I lost all hope you showed me love."_ I felt her shivering at those words. _"Angel of mine,"_ I whispered those words instead of singing and pulled back to look in her beautiful blue eyes. I stopped singing for a moment and just let our bodies move with the music. Then I started singing again, but this time while staring her in the eyes. _"What you mean to me you'll never know,"_ I sang and used one of my hands to softly caress her face. _"Deep inside I need to show,"_ I leaned in and left a gentle kiss on her nose. I stopped singing again, when I placed my lips on hers, moving our lips in a slow, tender kiss. After we pulled away, I started again. _"__Now I know why they say the best __things are free. I'm checkin' for ya, girl, you're right on time. Angel of mine," _I whispered the last words again instead of singing them and watched her eyes darken as the song ended.

We didn't pull apart, though. Instead, we stayed in a tight embrace, enjoying each other's presence, when I heard her husky voice.

"Ashley?"

"Mhmm?"

"Can you take me to bed?"


	29. Finally

_A/N: I know I suck. I'm so sorry for that long wait, believe me. But I'm back with this story. Even though after this chapter there will be just one last chapter, but full of smut, haha. Or maybe an epilogue, I don't know. Do you guys want an epilogue? Let me know, mkay?_

_And I'm so sorry it's so short. The next one will be longer. _

_Enjoy._

**29. Finally**

"Can you take me to bed?"

Just as I whispered those words, I knew there was no coming back. That this is what I want and what I need. And that I want it to be with Ashley, no one else. Ashley is the one I love and I will love forever. I do want her to be my first and I do want her to be my only one. Now you maybe tell me that I'm too young for thinking like this, but it's true. Ashley is the one I want to spend my life with. I knew it the first day we met in her living room and I know it now. She's the one who can make me smile when I'm sad, she's the one who hears me out when I want to talk about my stupid problems and she's the one who loves me for the way I am; not for what I've tried to be, but for who I am. She's the one who sees through me. She's the one who sees I'm not okay, even if I'm smiling at everyone.

Ashley is the love of my life.

* * *

I watched her as she slowly pulled away and took my hand into her own, leading me toward my bed, not tearing her eyes from mine the whole time. I watched her as she stood in front of me and stroked my hair with her soft hand, before she reached my face and started gently caressing it. I leaned into her touch and grabbed her hand to give a tender kiss on her palm. I saw her closing her eyes, enjoying the feeling of my lips on her hand. After she took her hand back, she finally leaned in and took my lips passionately. It was a gentle kiss at first, but after a moment, I felt her licking my bottom lip, the signal for me to open my mouth and let her tongue slip in. And she did. I had to moan when our tongues finally touched and started dancing in one rhythm. I put my hands around her neck, gently caressing the skin there while she let her hands wander along my body, touching me everywhere. But I needed her to touch these places under my clothes, so I pulled away and stared at her. I didn't have to say anything; she knew what I wanted as she took my shirt and slowly started lifting it up. I put my hands up to help her a little and she finally removed the top I was wearing.

There I was, almost half-naked in front of her. It was the first time in my life I stood half-naked in front of someone. I wasn't nervous or scared, though. Maybe I should have been, since this was the first time, but I wasn't. Maybe it was because I trusted her or maybe it was just her eyes, those almost black eyes that were staring at me so intensely. I heard my heart beating so fast like never before when she broke the eye contact and tilted her head down. I knew I was blushing, but I didn't care. I still didn't care as she moved her hand and started tracing her way along my bare skin. But I did care when she lifted up her head again and whispered, "You're beautiful."

However, I stopped caring again when she took her own shirt and removed it in a quick movement, exposing her own skin. What I saw left me speechless. That wasn't the end as I watched her hands reach behind her back and then she was there, standing in front of me topless. I swear I stopped breathing when I saw her naked skin. She was so beautiful.

"Beautiful," I whispered and touched her with my shaking hand, feeling her shiver after every touch.

I don't know how long I was touching her, but I stopped when she spoke softly. "Turn around." It wasn't an order, but I obeyed anyway. I turned around and immediately felt the warm hands touching the naked skin of my back. I felt a little uncertain when those hands unhooked my bra, and she felt it too, because suddenly I felt her hot breath at my ear and heard her whispering, "Don't be scared," at the same time as she slowly took down the straps and removed my black bra completely.

I turned around, still a little scared, and saw her smiling at me. Just when I spotted a smile of her own I knew it was going to be okay, that I could trust her. I watched her hand coming closer to me and suddenly I felt her fingers on my breast, tracing their way around. I couldn't help it and let out a moan, because that feeling was something I'd never experienced before and it was great. She pulled her hand back and I frowned, frustrated. Ashley just smiled at me with that smile where her nose crinkles, took my hand, and led me to the bed. I laid down on it and immediately pulled her to me, not wanting her to be that far away for too long. She stretched out on top of me and I gasped at the feeling our half-naked bodies so close to each other. She looked deeply into my eyes, silently asking for approval and I just nodded, letting her know she could do whatever she wanted to. Then she pulled away again, but this time just to take off her jeans. She was sitting there between my legs and playing with the belt of my jeans, her eyes still fixed on me. I gave her approval with my eyes and watched her as she very slowly unhooked the belt and the zipper and pulled off my jeans as well. She didn't wait for anything as she quickly laid on top of me again, this time both of us almost naked, and linked our lips in another loving kiss. I felt her start moving her body against mine while we were still kissing and God, it was a great feeling. I couldn't help it as I began moaning into the kissing and instinctively moving my body with hers. I heard her moaning too and soon after she sped up the tempo, I felt both of our bodies trembling as we came together.

After a moment of heavy breathing, she fixed her eyes on me again, smiled, and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. "This is just the beginning," she whispered.

_I can't wait._


End file.
